HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to anyone who is a father or has a father (or remembers a father)!
Matty wanted me to put up something today about my dad since my dad and I have been through a lot this year. He said he wanted to put something up later in the week about his dad.
I wrote some things to my dad in a letter and thought I'd share a little of it here. Matt got tears when he read the entire letter I wrote my dad. A lot of the entire letter is very personal, but I selected this little bit to share:
Dad,
So, it goes without saying that we've not always had the best relationship with each other.
Not meaning any disrespect, but, you've not been a perfect Dad. I can accept that. I don't think there's ever been one in the history of the world. Plus I don't think I could stand you -- or anyone -- being perfect!
I don't want to list all the ways you've failed me or all the ways I've failed you. We've done enough talking over the past year in the family counseling we've been doing. I think what's important now is that we focus on what we have now and what we're trying to have with each other.
I want to say how proud I am of all the hard work you've put into dealing with the alcohol business. So, you have ONE YEAR and 4 DAYS of sobriety! I'm glad you did this for our family 'cause I don't think we would have survived if you hadn't. But even more than that, I'm proud of you doing this for yourself. I mean, it all comes down to that, doesn't it? Doing it for yourself. Then Mom gets to have a husband who's really there; and the two of us kids get to have a Dad who's really there.
I have two Best Memories of you over this past year:
1. Remember when you took me to that soccer game back in April or May and then you took me out for ice cream afterwards? You have absolutely no idea how special I felt being with you. Just me and you. And, without me bringing it up, you brought up my being gay. And you told me you had no problem with it, even, you said, "the girly-boy" part! You were so sweet that night and I know I'll never forget it. And I could tell it was hard for you to talk about your feelings. But just that short comment made you a giant in my eyes. I'd been wanting you to accept me for so long. We've still got work to do, but I absolutely know we can do it now.
2. Remember when you met Matt for the first time? Yeah, I was totally scared that it might be hard for you 'cause it would be a step toward really seeing me as gay. I knew you wouldn't be rude or anything, but I was hoping you would really like him. I mean, at that time, you and I hadn't done a lot of work on our relationship and you were still early on in being sober. When I introduced him to you, you shook his hand and told him you were glad to meet him. I could tell there was some reservation going on with you, but I appreciated how decent you were. Now, it seems like you and him are like best friends! You're always asking me how he's doing and when he's coming over. It's funny, but sometimes it's kinda annoying. Maybe 'cause I wish me and you had been like that all along. It really and truly means the world to me that you said we make a "cute" couple (you saying this! imagine that!!) and then just recently you said you were proud of the two of us and thought what we had was very rare and special. I'm beginning to believe that what I have with you now is a very rare and special thing!
So, Happy Father's Day. I love you.
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