My List

Here's my list of what I want from a guy. That always seems to work, it brings focus, and helps things manifest better.
My needs and energy have changed so much since I last wrote a list. I met Husband as a result of the last one, 10 years ago. Things have changed.
Then one day, I can look back at this list, and see that it happened. That's always fun.

Spiritually compatible. Must have the same spiritual interests, depth of self-understanding and sensitivity and seriousness about it that I have.
Must be energetically compatible, and capable of Kundalini manifestation, and into sex as a spiritual force. 'Sex magick'. Tantra. (Not the new agey kind.)

Must actually be available, not married, dating anybody else, etc. Must be as into the whole relationship as I am. No ambiguity.

Must be a nice amount of badass. Some tattoos preferable, on nice big biceps. Must have black or dark hair, blue eyes, very good looking.

Must be between 35 and 45.

MUST not be afraid of being a man. I don't want somebody too 'New agey', or 'pc', a 'nice' castrated guy, nobody pussy whipped. Somebody with a lot of vital energy.

Height between 5'10 and 6ft. I want a guy with a nice strong athletic build. Not overweight, lean, but muscular and well built. Must be fit. Must also have a big cock. Must not have much body hair!! I hate hairy men. (A's body is perfect! Oh, fuck, I'm trying so hard not to describe him here!)

NO republicans or Christians or religious people. Nobody easily offended. I have a pretty 'out there' sense of humor sometimes.

Must be financially responsible and solvent, capable of taking care of himself well in the material world. I need that. Have had boyfriends that weren't, and that sucks.
Must be generous, though I'm not looking for handouts! Husband always made me pay my own way, and I think over all, I appreciated that, though a little more generosity wouldn't go amiss.

Must live nearby. I learnt that one when writing the list that lead me to Husband. I moved a long way way from friends and family! Had to totally build a whole new life for myself. That was hard.

Must be capable of giving me a damn good spanking, and want to do it. Must be at least somewhat kinky and open minded. Must be a bit 'top' and enjoy tying me up and torturing and teasing, and slightly scaring me occasionally. (Though not in the serial killer kind of way!!) Don't want a full-time kink though, I like 'vanilla' sex too sometimes. Can't have that as a major 'lifestyle choice', just a nice playful adventuresome diversion sometimes.

Must be clean, no STDs or other health issues.

Must not be abusive, on any level.

Must be affectionate and demonstrative, and like a good long slow french kiss. Must be a great kisser, I love to kiss. One of the most erotic things going...

Must also love to talk dirty to me. I had a Gemini lover that did that, I loved it...

Must not get premature ejaculation problems.

Must have had a vasectomy. I am not into condoms or birth control chemicals in my body. Just natural fucking, as it should be, far easier with a man with a vasectomy.

Must know what a clitoris is, and how to please one.

Must not have kids or ex-wife baggage.

Sense of humor must be as warped and dark as mine is. But must also be kindhearted and loving, and willing to be emotionally present.

Must like most of the same music I'm into. Goth, metal, etc. Nephilim, Iggy & Stooges, System of a Down, Zeppelin, Henry Rollins, Audioslave. (Where's Chris Cornell, is he single? Chris, I'm available!)

Must have a cool name, no Dereks, Kevins or Quentins.

Must hate Jazz as much as I do. Can't listen to Jazz or Country or Springsteen or Van Morrison or Yes.

Must like animals. Must be at least mostly vegetarian. I don't want a rabid carnivore, they fucking smell bad.

Must smell nice. Smell is a vital part of sexual attraction for me. I love how some guys smell.

Must not snore, eat too noisily, or fart too much. NO whistling or gum chewing, under any circumstances. NO annoying or irritating habits.

Must be at least a little bit metrosexual and well groomed. Must dress well.

Long hair would be nice, so long as it's nice and not outdated or ratty looking, and is well cared for. No bald spots. I want a man with a full head of gorgeous thick hair. (A has awesomely sexy hair. I noticed that after Husband's partial bald spot at the back!!)

Must not be a cigarette/cigar smoker! I am an addict, and I would never be able to not start again myself... Occasional pot use quite ok though. Necessary, even. I think it is a useful tool spiritually.

Must not be much of a drinker. Can't tolerate that. A little is ok.

Must be able to cook well, eat healthily, and not mind that I don't cook, or am not really all that domesticated. Must not need a 'Mom' in other words. I can't be somebody's mom.

Must occasionally buy me flowers.

Must have a nice deep sexy voice.

Must like the part of the world I am originally from. Husband didn't like it much and going home with him was always an ordeal.

Must like history and counter-culture, 2 of my favourite areas of interest. Particularly the magical/spiritual/occult side of things.

Must know who Aliester Crowley was, and appreciate him.

Must like sushi. Must be culinarily adventurous.

Must be adventurous, period. On all kinds of levels. Hiking, food, magick, sex, thought, philosophy, etc.

Must have nice family, and must get on ok with my crazy bunch. Must be reasonably socially skilled.

Must have an IQ to match mine, at least 130. Don't like stupid guys. I want somebody who can keep up with me intellectually.

Must be very literate and well read and well traveled.

Must not be Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces, Taurus, Virgo or certain types of Aquarius. Fire signs and the 2 other Air signs are ok. Capricorn is ok too.

Must occasionally ride a nice big throbbing motorcycle, and not just drive a nice car.

Must like road trips and travel!

Must be able to take care of things around the house, change light bulbs, etc. Husband is crap at DIY. I'd like somebody who knows what to do with a power tool. Skillful tool usage in men is very sexy.

I will add to this list as I think of things, but for now, that's a good start. Most of those things I cannot compromise on!! Some I can. Not sure of order of importance, it's not necessarily as I have it listed, these are just as they came up in my head.

Apart from the kink and books and Crowley, that list is a pretty good description of A... And really not all that much like Husband!! Wow, it's almost a shock to realize that. Or not. I guess that's natural, and why I was (am) so attracted to A.