Unicorn

I had a very interesting dream this morning. I was at a party with S, my dearly beloved fuck-buddy and soul-mate of the last 16 years now, and we were dancing. He had me cornered up against a wall, and was pushing his hard cock up against me, teasing my clit with all the playful rubbing against me he was doing, and kissing me so sweetly. I was trying to be discreet, too, but he was being mischievously indiscreet, the more embarrassed I got, the more obvious and carried away he got, which made it all the more naughty and wickedly erotic... and somehow delightfully innocent and happy, too. There was laughter going on.

We have had a lot of conversations about that, I think we could be in for a total snog-fest when he comes to see me in January! I can't wait.. He's a great kisser, and loves to kiss really slowly and deeply. So do I. Auuhhh... I'm getting wet and getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.
He's told me a bunch of times over these last few months that he wants to kiss me slowly and take hours over it, until I'm totally on fire and begging for a good fucking, which he wants to also do slowly and sensuously. To start off with...

It's such a shame he lives about 5,000 miles away.

I haven't had enough of that lately. Seriously, I think sometimes the right kiss could make me come. I think S is planning on finding out... Sounds pretty good to me. He knows what I need and what I like the sound of. He was doing pretty well in my dream.

Anyway, the other interesting part of the dream, was that we were looking out of the window of the room at one point, into a garden, and there were all these little plastic unicorns, with hoses attached, like sprinklers, watering the garden. There's some great Alchemical sexual imagery for you!! Unicorns watering my garden... Making it fertile, green, alive. Only some of them weren't working well, and some were working perfectly.

I think I have to think about which of my Unicorns are really alchemically Watering my Garden, and which are only pissing the water away, trickling it down the pathway, instead of getting to give my flowerbeds a good deep soaking.

Here is a page talking about Unicorns in Alchemy, only it's a real shame that he denies the sexual aspect, and has 'cleaned it up' a bit, as that was such a major component!! It's interesting nonetheless. Everybody with an ounce of sense knows almost all of the Alchemical symbolism was sexual, and not in any abstract way, either.

Here is another page which also talks about the 'purified feminine', in association with Unicorns.
And by 'purified', it doesn't mean sexually untouched, it means one so sublimated by intense love-desire, either during intense prayer, or during the sexual act, that the heart bursts wide open and enters you into a much deeper stage of spiritual life. Only such a one with an open heart is truly 'pure'.

It was always a virgin in mythology, who got to tame the Unicorn. The original word 'virgin' means one given to God, as in the sacred temple women from various traditions, who weren't necessarily some untouched young girl who had never had sex, but women who truly embodied the Divine Feminine in all Her aspects, including the sexual.

The other interesting aspect to Unicorn mythology is that they have always been associated with poisons, and their horns were believed to be protection against them. That of course, is linked also to the sexual aspect, in that once the heart has been opened, all poisons of the ego are dissolved in the Alchemical 'vitriol' or solvent. That solvent being Love.

Well, I think S can kiss away, until my heart bursts wide open, and I am Sublimated, sounds pretty damn good to me...

Interestingly, that dream was straight on the heels of the first sex I've had with Husband in a very long time, at least since several weekends before that sweet crazy magical fuckfest of a 4th July weekend I had with A! (Who did indeed also manage to help take me to the place where burst my heart open during sex! And that's the sad thing, and why I have found it so fucking hard to let that one go, and give up the feeling that there should have been more between us...)
Husband has been away all weekend, and wanted to sleep with me in my bed last night, so I let him. He woke me at 5am this morning, and slipped it into me from behind when I was barely awake, which wasn't something I had a particular problem with, but... I just didn't feel any real enjoyment and was just 'going through the motions'. It has become so routine, so 'same old', no magick, and I feel bad that I can't find it in me to feel that Love, that excitement, and reach those states of sexual sublimity with him, too.