I'd like to recommend a book, if you're interested! Raven Kaldera's Dark Moon Rising.
It was recommended to me by my one friend that knows who I am, that has long been into all things kinky and perverted and magickal, and has been one of my best teachers on the subject. This is the guy who recognized that I was a 'sub' about 10 years before I did!
~I notice I hate to use the words 'kinky' and 'perverted' as it takes it to a kind of debased level somehow in people's minds, and there's nothing 'perverted' to really finding and connecting with your own most powerful states of being. The 'perversion' in my opinion is in the way society makes these things seem bad and unhealthy. They are not. Suppression of natural desires is far more unhealthy.
I trust his recommendation completely, as he really knows his stuff. I have only just started to read it, but it's already gripped me.
Kaldera's not scared of the really dark and powerful side of himself. I like that. I am sometimes if I'm honest, but am becoming increasingly less so.
I am also interested in the 'spiritual' side of what this is all about, and that doesn't get talked about nearly often enough. People sometimes have the idea that BDSM or any kind of 'kinky' or 'perverted' sex is all about the sex, and it is, but it doesn't stop there! For many people it is a religion.
So many people have genuine spiritual experiences while tied up or having (consensual) pain or intense bodily sensation administered. I have. Sort of like the Lakota Sun Dance, for example. Put that together with sex, our most powerful and primal connection to life, and you have something really powerful!
One time Husband had given my ass a really good spanking, then turned me over and ravished me completely, and my heart just broke wide open. I was weeping with bliss. I was totally opened up to feel overwhelming Universal Love. That has happened a few times. Something about it bypasses ego, and also triggers enough endorphins to really override our usual emotional pattern of being.
Kaldera recognizes that, and that chemical and spiritual need some of us have, and talks about it openly, and obviously knows his stuff. I will write a bit more when I've read more of it! So far I'm finding it fascinating.
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