Raven Kaldera has also written a book called The Ethical Psychic Vampire which sounds pretty interesting.Let's see. My relationship with A... While I'm not in the habit of blaming people, but rather of taking my own responsibility for my responses, this list is still pretty interesting.. I think I can check all of them!
People are what they are, and it was me who let this happen. Ultimately, I am sort of glad I did in a way, because of what it has lead to. A totally renewed and happy relationship with Husband, and a letting go of the bonds of conventional relationship that we were stuck in, that has allowed us to move in to a much more authentic space together. It's been amazing.
So while I can list all these things below, and still feel some anger about them, and some hurt, there is also the gratitude, and the recognition of A's part in my beginning to awaken to a much deeper love. I guess he was the necessary tool needed to start that process.
Some people are just there in your life a short while to serve a function, teach you something.
You know, it's funny. I had asked him about 6 or 7 weeks ago now for no further contact. He said yes, ok, but can we see how it goes if I contact you in October? I said yes, but am feeling like I don't want to ever hear from him again. But, if I'm totally honest, there's a small part of me that is pissed that he hasn't been in touch yet. I SO need to get over that!!! I think reading this has really helped...
There are really only 3 vampires I'd ever let suck on me, Bill Compton, LeStat, and Keifer Sutherland. OK, and perhaps Gary Oldfield. ;-)
Red flags
Read the list below to know if you are in a toxic relationship with a love vampire. Do you...
1. Feel drained and lethargic or fearful and anxious when they are around?
Yes, got to feeling very anxious come the end..
2. Feel bad about yourself, or begin to dislike yourself because of what they say?
Yes! I was believing I was the unsexiest woman on the planet, after A told me I was too short, not athletic enough, etc. My sexual self-image took a huge plunge off a cliff. He was all set to 'fix' me, totally setting me up to believe there was a lot wrong with me that he had the answers for, as the 'shaman' healer. Hhmm..
3. Begin to behave in ways that you dislike, or feel as if they "bring out the ugly" in you?
Um, like lying and being a total bitch to my beloved husband and fucking around on him? Feeling totally insecure and anxious and needy? Being totally oblivious to everybody else's needs? YES I got to see the ugly... and some!!
4. Feel pressured to do what they ask?
As in, nearly getting a divorce? Oh yes, A was all about that. Hated marriage, and wanted me out of mine asap. Wow.. WHAT was I thinking???
5. Feel like running away from them?
Lately, yes, when I started to see it. I threw away anything to do with him, stuff he'd given me, emails, texts, deleted phone numbers, Facebook, Flickr, etc when I started feeling that.
6. Feel like you never get your needs met, yet you've given them everything you've got?
Absolutely. It was all about him, well disguised in a million very subtle ways.
7. Ask yourself why you are with them, but find that you are afraid to be alone?
Yes, that was the weirdest thing, I am usually a pretty independent person in a lot of ways, but found myself totally craving his company, even though it was getting weird and awkward.
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