Body Image

I think my self-image is changing, and I'm starting not to give a shit.

Been reading Nancy Friday's 'My Mother My Self', and so much of our own negative body image is based on what mother taught us, basic shame about our genitals. She says that so much of that is transferred to the rest of our body, our thighs, ass, stomach, tits, etc. Makes sense to me. And as I feel into that shame I have about my own pussy, that it's dirty, slimy, ugly, smelly, hairy, etc, the more I can feel that transference to be true.
I'm realizing it's a lie I told myself to cope with genital shame.
Sounds kind of silly, but you know, that stuff really has a hold on us. I have always been so critical of my own body. My waist is too wide, (I don't actually have a waist, I go straight down like a plank), my stomach sticks out, my hips are too deep, my legs are too short, my cunt and legs are too hairy, (had laser treatment, got rid of most of my bikini line, fixed that!)...

I think what I was feeling in the summer after the fiasco with A, when he told me I was too short, was perhaps the homeopathic remedy I needed to start the change in how I feel and see myself. That was so painful, brought up so much anger in me, that I HAD to start to change my self-image and see myself more positively, just to defy that stupid motherfucker.

The silly thing is, I have also even done a little runway modeling. Now, how can I still have been telling myself all these years that my body isn't good enough, when there is an audience cheering at it?

Nancy Friday said every woman has something she doesn't like about her physical appearance. We can't all be that grossly misshapen and ugly, can we? Somehow I doubt it.

Women, take your power back, realize that you're beautiful. You know your men would all applaud you for that. Haven't your husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, always told you you're not ugly? Believe them! What have you got to lose? Really? What?

Don't you also see your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, as beautiful? Well, that's probably how the world sees us.
And how little real sex appeal has to do with looks, anyway. Haven't we all known some WAY sexy people that weren't exactly supermodel-gorgeous??

I saw the movie Gia last night, with Angelina Jolie. She actually doesn't have a perfect body when you see it all naked, her waist is also too wide, her tits aren't great. I say that not to knock her, but to realize that bodily perfection isn't it. You can still be Angelina Jolie, and not be perfect. Perfection is a myth. And even super-models like Gia have self-image issues.