Superiority

So Master called Husband out last night on his pattern of superiority with me. It's subtle, but Husband has always in a lot of ways been the more 'dominant' person in our relationship. Lots of reasons why. He's older, earns more, has been a part of the community we were a part of for years for much longer than me, all kinds of reasons, some more subtle than others. And he's just bossier than I am, too, and naturally steps up to take the lead. Which makes for a fine argument sometimes, as I'm pretty fucking stubborn myself sometimes.. lol

Anyway, it was interesting what Master had to say to us both about that. He said I am growing at a phenomenal rate, and Husband has to not assume that I am even the same person I was 6 months ago, but to feel who I am in the moment. That felt really good. We have to allow each other to grow, and those old ways of relating aren't allowing for that. His assumptions about who I am now, and my apparent weaknesses, as I am rapidly outgrowing a lot of that shit, it's true.

I think what started that discussion was when we were leaving their house last week, Husband gave me a hug, and made some comment about me being his 'little pumpkin', or something like that. It was affectionate, but a presumption that I was 'little' and inferior, and both Master and his woman saw it, and did a double take.
It's so very useful to have people to be accountable to for that shit, other people to see the patterns of things, and point out the insidious ways in which we belittle each other, no matter how 'affectionate' a gesture it was, it was still an assumption of my weakness and his strength, and that's the point.

I ain't nobody's 'little pumpkin'...

The difference between how Master relates to me as a woman, and how Husband relates to me as a girl are becoming quite distinct, now that I can see it, with Master's help, and Husband's honesty. There are going to be a lot of changes going on around here. It feels pretty good.