Uncle

My uncle is busy dying. He had a bad back a few weeks ago that wouldn't go away, and they found a large spinal cancerous tumour. And lung and liver cancer. He doesn't have very long. Freaky shit.

Personal feelings aside, the plasticity of the Universe has shown itself again. Alongside this morning's realizations of independence and responsibility, my mom told me that my uncle is leaving me most of his money, and that includes the house sale proceeds, which he has already set in motion. True to form, my uncle is handling his shit before he goes, rather than collapsing into himself. I am impressed. He is uber-functional, and that has always in some ways been a family joke, at least between me and my mom and dad. We are all somewhat less functional.

Poor guy has earned the nickname 'Uncle H******' as he looks very much like a certain high-ranking Nazi. He would look good in uniform. But perhaps that uber-efficiency isn't such a fault. It has over the years shown up us bumbling and eccentric incompetents, and I think that's what we are so uncomfortable with.

This could very well be life-changing for me, and an extreme example of the Grace that responds to the courage I have had in facing my own fears this week. Amazing. Mind-blowing. And humbling, as whatever terrors I think I have been through, I sure have not had to face imminent and painful cancerous demise. It gives one some perspective.

I mumble a humble and awestruck 'Thank You' to God for this one.

I have lost too many uncles to cancer lately though. I'd like to stop here for now, with just the 2 of them, thanks. I don't have many left now, and I have great and wonderful uncles.

I have also had the urge to yell "UNCLE!!" at the Universe in surrender this last week, when I have felt like I have had more than enough of it.