I didn't take my trip home. I could be getting laid by S tomorrow, and am sort of sad about that in some ways, but.. It wasn't the right time to go, so I have rebooked for later in the year.
From the altercation my mother got into with me, about not coming home at the moment, you'd think I'd called down the Apocalypse on her head. Another reason not to go at the moment..
Some amazing things have been happening, and I have been very lax in writing about them. I am feeling a definite shift in my spiritual life, the Shakti is contactable pretty much when I turn my attention! There have been moments when I have been utterly gone in bliss, and over the last week or so, there has been a period of several days when I was awakened to Unity, to being all of this that arises, my body experienced as energy, light and bliss, although today it has lapsed somewhat, Master was determined that I stay here and I can see why!! Crazy week. I'd hate to not allow this to develop further.
I am going to spend as much time around Master as I can in the next while... He transmits crazy Light. It's like a force that hits you, and takes you over, and gradually melts your separateness from God away, and leaves you swooning in Love.
I didn't share that with mum, she already thinks Master is the Devil Incarnate, and hates him with a passion. In some ways, rightfully so. It would only add to her paranoia that he was controlling my mind if I shared the real reasons for delaying my trip with her.
I understand more fully now, that passage in the Bible when JC tells Mary that she's not his mother. You have to outgrow the false god of parental relationship, to find any real Truth.
There are so many stories of great realizers whose mothers didn't appreciate their spiritual lives. It means an end to the cosmic round of births and deaths, and who to feel that more than the one who gave birth to you? They know. It disturbs them. It disturbs anybody who can't understand it and what it requires. It's a hard path. Sacrifice. Renunciation. You change. I am not her little girl any more and it's freaking her out that the usual control games no longer work.
I have had it easy. Master reminded me how easy. My sadhana has been nothing. Not compared to so many Masters. Not compared to my Master even! I have ridden on the slip-stream, on Master's coat tails, and I intend to hang on.
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