Age

I think I figured something out about the last 2 sexual encounters I've had not maintaining a good hard on. It could also be age. Both are in their early to mid 40's. (Maybe statistically I got unlucky there. Yes, I know, there are plenty of older guys who are quite capable of getting and keeping good wood.) 
I like that theory, whether it's true or not.

I realized I am perhaps sexually conditioned to fucking horny teenagers or 20 somethings. I spent my late 20's and most of my 30s married to a guy who never had trouble with it, and am currently emerging into single life again in my late 30's. I am fucking much older guys now than I used to. Perhaps that's it. Perhaps it's just bodily functionality. E is 45. A was 43.
I mean, what 16 year old doesn't have a permanent hard on and couldn't go at it 4 times a night?  I haven't ventured far enough into cougar country to put my theory to the test. Perhaps I should find a much younger man and experiment.. ;-) 

Anyway, thanks for the reassurance yesterday K.  I needed to hear that, you're right, my confidence took a bit of a nosedive again. Perhaps it's not me. Perhaps it was nerves at a first encounter. Perhaps it's age and statistics and I can relax about it. 

It is kind of a freaky thing though, realizing that your lover of 10 years was maybe more easy to please than some new guy you just got it on with. There were a few moments when I felt like I just did not know what I was doing, or how to please him, and that he likes different things than Husband liked.

I dreamt last night that Husband replicated himself, and one of him went off and got on with his spiritual life, and the other stayed with me and we continued to live our normal lives. I woke up feeling pretty sad, and missing him.
I'm not over him yet. I had thought perhaps I was, but I'm not. But that's ok. Doesn't mean I shouldn't go fucking somebody else now, just that I need to figure out that I still miss him, and not be so hard on myself. I was with Husband for a 1/4 of my life, after all. That is a long time.