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E is getting good and inventive in the bedroom. He is an engineer and a Virgo, and it's a good combination. Oh, and I think he's a bit of a pervert, too.  I have no complaints.  He has mastered the g-spot with a good thrust thing, and several other rare talents.  It helps that he's well built, too! That's a welcome benefit..

He is also one of the sweetest and kindest people I have ever had the pleasure to date. He made me chocolate pudding, and took me to the mall.

Something I haven't written much about here, is that I am still having trouble getting around by myself after my accident in July, which left me on crutches, with an injured leg. Which has made mall-time an impossibility. I have been wearing the same 5 pairs of sweatpants for 2 1/2 months now.  So Saturday, I had some help, a ride, and somebody to carry my stuff.  None of my other friends have thought of that, and I, being a moron, or too proud/stupid to ask, haven't asked, and just suffered a lot of shortages and issues, because I haven't been able to ask for the help I have needed.  E thinks to ask me, and I think he realizes I'm not good at asking.

My leg injury is also pretty limiting to my sex life, so I think that's the other end of the inventiveness E is displaying, dealing with a gimpy lover. Certain positions just aren't physically possible for me at the moment. But that didn't stop me having 2 orgasms on Friday night, and 4 on Saturday, and one yesterday.  Oh yes..
He takes quite a bit of work though, and as I don't have the stamina to keep up the pace, I am way ahead of the game. 
He's doing ok on maintaining an erection though, that's improved a lot since our first few dates back in August. We also paid a visit to Victoria's Secret when we were at the mall. I don't think he had any complaints about being dragged around there! ;-)

I feel a bit torn, I am really enjoying dating E, lapping up the attention and the care I'm getting, and the sex, E is great at making me feel special. But gnawing away in the back of my brain is Master, and the fact that he doesn't know, and the fear that he will find out, and kick my ass for deliberately disobeying his express orders not to have anything to do with guys for the forseeable, for reasons of healing from the divorce, getting over being a codependent wuss, etc.  I am wondering how long this will last, how long can I keep up the double life, how long before I have to make some kind of really painful choice and break some hearts? My own included. Again.
I know too, that in some ways, that is very much up to me. It depends on how I complicate things! I could be simple, free, happy anyway, living in the moment, not playing all those relationship games, and all could be well. Or, I could be me, do my usual complicated bullshit, fuck up royally, hurt all the people I love the most, and have to pay a huge price.
Arghh, how did this happen??

Talking of which, I received the divorce papers through the mail today. I am officially divorced. That happened on paper last month, and I guess ex-Husband forgot to tell me. He signed the final papers about 3 weeks ago! Well, no change there then. Communication of actual facts was never a strong point of his.

Friday night, I after one of the orgasms I had, the world just became Conscious, it was all Alive and was all God, and I was overwhelmed by the most outrageous feelings of total love and heart-awakening.  In that, there was no complication.  Just Shiva and Shakti, enjoying Cosmic Embrace.
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