I earned the title of "Worlds Coolest Girlfriend" on Saturday. I went to see Jackass 3D with E and his best friend. (And I like Rush, apparently that scored me massive points). In fact, it was my suggestion. I love Jackass. 3D rocked, so go see it, but don't eat too much beforehand. It will make you gag, several times over. Lots of gratuitous pooping/vomiting scenes. Possibly the most effed up movie I have seen in a long, long time. E described it afterwards as mind-rape. We came out feeling totally buttfucked. I haven't laughed so much in ages...
Johnny Knoxville is hot. I know, that's sick, I can't help it. He is.
That also even earned a brief mention of the L word. It was brief, then the conversation changed, but I caught it. He said, 'going to see Jackass in 3D is a real sign of love'. Aw.. I think it could be. E is turning out to be very awesome. I am still very scared to say that L word though. It still feels like a scary thing to say or think about. But I have definite 'feelings' for E. That wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't ready. We had our 2 month anniversary last night, and he cooked me a great meal. I spent the entire weekend there, from Friday after work, until about 10 last night.
We had an awesome weekend. One thing about the sex, I notice when I come, it isn't something I have to work at, it feels very different. It just happens, and happens suddenly, and it doesn't feel like either of us are doing anything but giving. My usual experience of sex has been that I have used or been used by the other person to get my rocks off, but this feels very very different, very relational and loving. Yes, ok, I think I can use that word. E really is very affectionate and I feel like he's there to give, as much as to take, when we fuck. It's just something in his face, he engages me, looks like he cares if I'm having a good time or not, and wants to give me pleasure, rather than use me for his own pleasure. That makes me want to give, too, and the whole dynamic has changed.
Neither of us closes our eyes when we have an orgasm, either, we keep eye contact throughout the whole event, don't disappear into ourselves, and that is indescribably hot... Wow. Getting to look into a person's eyes when they're mid-orgasm? Getting to see a person feeling that much pleasure, being that vulnerable, opening up that much, while still being absolutely engaged in relationship with you? Fucking far-out.
That might sound pretty basic and obvious to some people, but I can't say that anybody I've ever fucked previously has been as much in it for me as for themselves. Only once or twice, it's happened, but it's very, very rare, in my experience.
On a tangent, I dreamed last night that Sgt Doakes from Dexter busted me for giving S a blow-job. I wasn't really enjoying it, and was feeling slightly used in the dream by S, and then Sgt Doakes came up the stairs like a swat team, all big scary gun and bullet-proof jacket, and busted me. Interesting.
S is coming to visit me in a few months, and I have lost interest in fucking him, at least at the moment. I am a little freaked out about how that is all going to happen, too. Hhhmm..
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