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....2 Regret......... My Life..............

Here I am in yet another depressive episode - after an argument with someone I truly do love - realising just how much of a fuck up I am at the age of 39......
  • I don't own a home or am in the process of getting one.
  • My husband and I separated - and I don't actually blame him - I'm quite the piece of work.
  • I am in a basic job with little in the way of career advancements - my company is a good one and my team are excellent people - but I should have been in THIS job 10 years ago - and in senior management by now.
  • I have ruined several peoples lives over the last 10 years - financially and emotionally.
  • I live with mental illness.
  • I'm fat.
  • I have ruined my looks - no one else is to blame - *I* did it. I have no self control.
  • I have a shitty financial outlook if I don't fix it in the next six months - again my fault.
  • I am unable to make a single sensible decision - or to successfully follow one fro0m beginning to end even if I do get one started.
  • I have no assets.
  • I have no social prospects - no friends in my city.
  • I have been told by many that I am too overweight for them.
  • Others have told me I am simply too stupid or too crazy.
So - when I listen to some people who think they have a shitty life - read this and compare - not so shitty anymore is it?

Oh - and this post is for me NOT anyone else - comments are not invited - I am putting this out there in the hope that the Universe / HaShem / myself takes a piece of solid wood and bashes my head in in the vain hope my brain re-scrambles itself into some semblance of sanity.

Yes - another depression post for those who like to complain about it.

And unless you can offer a spare 5k$ sitting around - or a psychologist who actually knows what the FUCK they are talking about - then say nothing otherwise I'll break my own rule and post YOUR email addresses - your email contents and my OWN dissection on EXACTLY how I view your thoughts and insights on my life.

This is MY fucking blog and MY fucking life - currently I find it hard to find satisfaction in either.

Neither is giving me ANY pleasure.
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