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5th Audit

(I took a nice drive along the river near the downtown Scientology center tonight. I don't usually take extra time for that drive, but had a spare half hour, got out of a meeting early. There's a lovely wooded park nearby. We are so lucky, I love where I live.)

Pain in my foot, tingling pain. So I go back to sitting in the garden with mom, and I am about 10 months old.  I can see all this energy, golden, blues, sunny, happy energy. It's me, it's mine.  Mom is sitting under a dark cloud. She is all grey and unhappy. She is sitting knitting, totally focused on it.
I move towards her, and sting my foot on a nettle in the grass. I cry, she picks me up, takes me indoors. I hear the phone ringing, it's Grampy, they have an argument, he tells her she should take more care of me, watch me better, not let me get stung by nettles. She goes and sits on the couch afterwards, and cries, for hours, holding me, and I absorb all that sadness. 

Auditor asks for an earlier incident. I am about 6 months old, and Uncle B is there, about 10 years old, sitting with me on the couch, and I am happy. I love B, his energy is so warm and happy, he's loving me. I sense an entity across the room. It's scary and miserable and angry. It heads towards mum in the corner of the room. She freaks out, starts yelling, gets really angry. Dad comes in, and they get into a fight. B takes me outside for a walk down the lane.
Earlier incident.
It's dark, I'm cold, and totally lonely and scared. Tiny baby, newly born, in my cot alone. I get terrified. I can sense previous owner in the house. (interesting, the house was sold to us by the neighbor, after her mum died). She was angry there were new people in it, and she didn't like mum. Dad comes in, turns on the light in my room, it's really bright, hurts my eyes. Dad picks me up, my sense of fear goes away.
At the end of the session I realize, neighbor's mom would of course feel angry and frustrated, being a ghost, she has no way to communicate with the living.  I feel compassion for her, my fear passes, and Auditor asks me to remember a time when I was really happy.
I remember standing in the living room, wearing red tights, and Dad is holding my hand. I'm standing up, about a year old. Dad just gave me some chocolate! My first taste of chocolate, and I'm totally pleasantly surprised by the flavour!
Amazing to feel, when the fear lifted, my sense of my own bodily energy expand, and got tingles all over! Amazing too, what a visual world I lived in, in terms of energy! Wow, I could see all kinds of stuff!! I would love if that ability came back..

Auditor said something really interesting last night, we usually say a person has a 'gift', but what crap that is. It's a skill, not a 'gift', a gift implies it's not really ours, we're not really responsible for it, but just somehow the recipient of something, when really, these things are skills we have. I like that.
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