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Scared Little Boy

I finally got a reply from Ex. It was very impersonal, and felt weird and sanitized, like he was covering his tracks. A whole couple of paragraphs about how intense and profound his life is, what a lot he's learned from Master, how devoted he is to him, how Master has shown him how to be a man, (I should think so, he's nearly fucking 50!), and what deep understandings he's had recently.
That, and that he took my email to him as an invitation to write.  Like somehow I had contacted him, and this was his response to me...

He signed it, "take the best of care, and feel free to keep in touch whenever you feel moved to". What. The. Fuck. I'm not his fan-club. He is not fucking George Clooney, writing to a fucking fan-club member.

And nothing even indicating any personal relationship with me, no 'How are you? How's things? What have you been up to lately?'  Self-absorbed, arrogant, narcissistic, deluded shit-for-brains. It was all about him.

When I got it, S texted me, "Call me! NOW!"  He'd sent it to me, and then bcc'd the rest of them!  

So I guess he's letting himself off the hook, exonerating himself, showing them all, including bitch, that he is kind enough to respond to me, but be impersonal and not doing anything underhanded or secretive, which is ironic, being as he was the one who initiated all this, in secret, by sending my mom that book, giving me the U2 tickets, and emailing me that photo recently.

I haven't responded yet, I don't know how. I don't know what to say, that wouldn't be unkind, or be calling him out on his shit in a major way. I composed a dozen emails yesterday.
S said not to worry, she would open this can of worms up soon, in front of them all. Not sure I want that, (but I would love it if bitch was there!) but she said it's ok, he doesn't have to know that I know she said anything about it.
But part of me doesn't want that, and just wants to see how it plays out between us, just the 2 of us, without involving other people. It's not their business. 

What an asshole. What a fucking scared little boy asshole. Wants that attention from me still, and doesn't want to cop to it to the rest of them.  And I still love him.
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