Dreamt there were spiders in my room everywhere, big blue one in a huge web made of string, above my bed. There were spiders all falling down the walls on their strands of web, and all over the ceiling, in danger of falling on my head, and I wanted to vacuum them all up, and the guy wouldn't bring the vacuum cleaner. There was some old guy who was in charge, or my landlord or something, and kept telling me there was a vacuum cleaner, but kept forgetting to bring it.
Then I was at a market stall selling clothes, in a building, and all other stalls were at other end of the building, this one was just by itself.
I hate people who vacuum up spiders, I think that's cruel, I usually get them in a glass and put them outside, but I guess there were so many of them, that the vacuum seemed like the best way to do it..
It was a relief to dream about the spiders, instead of Ex!
Had an interesting weekend with D, and E. They seemed to get on well, which was nice. But D didn't stop talking about Master, (and occasionally about Ex, which felt more than a little awkward). But I think he got my hints after a while, and slowed down a little. Anyway, we had a fun weekend, and I think E was ultimately ok with it all. They seemed to like each other. I had thought D was coming to stay at mine, and then get on with his day elsewhere, but he ended up tagging along a little, and staying on E's floor on Saturday night, which was fine, as I hadn't seen him in a couple of years! I did miss my alone time with E though...
Last night D and I got to talk alone for a few hours after E dropped us home again, and he said some interesting things. One, which made me simultaneously gag, and laugh hysterically at the same time, was his description of Bitch's pussy. Apparently, she's got these really nasty, large dangly lips, and he hated them, he said it made sex really difficult, they sort of flopped in and out, and felt weird, and her pussy was the ugliest he's ever seen. I was almost crying laughing..
D is funny. And a sicko like me. He might be around a few weekends, he's thinking of moving back over here, and wants to stay at my place on weekends, until he finds a place of his own, which works great, as I'll be with E on weekends, and D will give me money to stay over, and I could definitely use it!! He said why don't I ask S to tell Ex that he's moving in with me? I laughed so hard. Well, it wouldn't be a total lie. ;-)
I never would want to hurt Ex like that though. I know that would really fuck him up.
I feel something shifted this weekend, and healed. It was great to catch up with D, and also great to talk to somebody that knew what had gone down, and knew me, and Ex, and Master, and Bitch, all so intimately. S doesn't have that perspective, she's a relatively new friend. She doesn't know Master's history. She doesn't know Ex's history, and she has no great love for him.
Interestingly, D also said he didn't think it was over between me and Ex yet, either. But he did say if, IF any more happens, and we end up somehow back together in some form, or friends again, for me to be aware of who it is I am dealing with. A good reminder, because E is so not any of that. I know he's not perfect, but, he's not as selfish as Ex, nor as sexually complicated, or manipulative. D said he liked how sweet E was with me. He saw Ex be a real asshole more than a few times.
I think I am healing, moving on. I had a moment on Saturday, when it all felt ok, I felt a weight lift off me.
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