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S has been out of town for a week or more, we've had no calls, no texts, no conversation about Ex, and I am feeling better. Still sad, still angry, but the emotion levels have subsided. I think it's true that as a wise man once said, you become what you give your attention to. I can feel how much attention I have given to my anger and feeling fucked over, and all the rest.  It's like the Universe just decided, ok, time to put your attention elsewhere, and to help you do that, I am removing the source of the stimulation, Ex and S.  Gone. Phew!

So, I have been thinking about buying a condo. I spent yesterday looking. I need a home. I love my apartment, it's phenomenal, but it's a rental, and way too expensive to sustain, longer term. I am not saving money. I think I could find a condo that would have a lower mortgage and HOA's than my current rent.  I have a good girlfriend in real estate, so I am asking her to look at a place in a few days. I think it would do me good to own a place, and be responsible for it, and feel more settled, like I had my own home, rather than just a place to sleep at night for now. It would also be less of a temptation to shack up with E.

What's interesting, is these eclipses in Gemini and Sag? They're at the same points where there were eclipses back in 1993, the first time I ever tried buying a house.  I was too young then, and it all fell apart on me. I left my bf, and it was the same story as Ex. Ex and I also bought our house, we signed, in fact, on an eclipse in the fall of 2007.
Perhaps it's not the best time then, for me to think about it. I would hate to lose my condo, too, like I lost both those houses. 
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