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Alone with God

Been having a hard few days thinking about Ex again. Why? Why the fuck? Really? I am sick of thinking about him. I think it was triggered by a short trip out of town with E. We went to a place that I went to once with Ex, and it triggered all kinds of memories. But ffs, that is going to happen, I can't be spending a few days each time that happens, going off the deep end.

Have been having what I hate to call 'visions' because they're not really that, of me with my previous Master, in one of the Temples on the Sanctuary they have, and it's so sweet, it's like just me and myself, alone with God. What do I want? What would I ask Him for? It seems that that's the bottom line in those visions, what, if I was alone with God and nobody else, and there were no others to consider, would I ask for?

I really need answers to a few of those questions. I have some big life-decisions coming up. That's just it, I have no idea.  
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