I go with Brad sometimes to the grocery store, and as usual, my brain is all over the place. While he's on a mission and has his list of things to buy, I'm walking up and down all the aisles looking at all the different things on the shelves.

I almost made a scene when I grabbed a can and went running to Brad to show him. I was laughing so hard and trying to think of some funny line about the can. Sometimes when I get like this, I forget there are other people around!
Me: "Brad! Look at this! I found some Spotted Dick!"
Brad: "What?"
Me: "Some Spotted Dick. I found some Spotted Dick. Look!"
Brad: "Will you keep it down?! What are you talking about?"
Me: "Look!"
Brad: "Oh My God!"
Me: "Let's get some, okay?"
Brad: "Not before I see what's in that can!"
Me: "It's right here on the label. Look. SPOTTED DICK. I want some!"
Brad: "Oh My God!"
Me: "I think it's some kind of pudding."
Brad: "I'm not eating anything called, 'Spotted Dick.' Go put it back."
Me: "Oh, you're being silly. Let's at least try it."
Brad: "Matty?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Brad: "Go put the Dick back where you found it."
Me: "But..."
Brad: "Will you lower your voice?"
Me: "Oh. Sorry. If you're not going to buy it, I am."
Brad: "Are you going through the checkout line with that can?"
Me: "Yeah."
Brad: "Will you please hide the label?"
Me: "Why? They have to scan it and people will get a kick out of it!"
Brad: "Let's get in separate lines then."
Me: "Why?"
Brad: "Matty?"
Me: "What?"
Brad: (*giving me the 'stern Bradley' look*)
Me: "Sometimes you are absolutely no fun!"
Brad: "No, that's not it. It's just that..."
Me: "What?"
Brad: (*speaking in a low voice*) "I prefer my dick unspotted."
Brad: "Go pay for your spotted dick. But I want you to understand one thing."
Me: "What?"
Brad: (*with this sly grin*) "I don't pay for my dick."
Me: "Come on. Finish shopping and let's go home!"
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