Letter

So now I am tying myself up in knots like the fuckwit I am.  I did it. Stupidly perhaps, but I dropped that letter to Ex in the mailbox last night.  I was in a different part of town, so it won't have my zipcode on the postmark, (which is perhaps a little paranoid), but..  I'm sure he will guess it was me anyway, and probably won't even notice that, or even give a shit about what I wrote.
I fell immediately into doubt and worry.  "Oh shit, what have I just done?" Of course. Probably nothing.

Still, all this year, I haven't said a word to him about any of it, really.  I could have sent a million angry letters, to him, his parents, to bitch, Master, you name it. I didn't. I guess one out of a million's not so bad. There are no restraining orders out on me.
I should probably have left it until it wasn't so near the dates when it is so obviously me though. The anniversary of when he really pissed me off, and started dating bitch last year. That wasn't the smartest thing I could have done.
Or, I could have been more direct, written something else, about me, about him, I don't know.

By my calculations, he will get it Tuesday. No delivery tomorrow for Thanksgiving, he never works on a Friday if he can help it, he does paperwork on a Monday at home, goes into the office on a Tuesday.  On Tuesday morning, the Sun will just be clipping my 7th house cusp, and Venus will have moved on far enough to be conjunct Pluto almost.

Venus conjuncts my Jupiter in late Sag, over the weekend.   Mercury will retrograde tonight in my 7th house for 3 weeks, possibly bringing back old lovers. (Or fucking up current relationships, depending).

I had dinner with Sister last night.  I told her most of it.  Didn't tell her about the letter though, feeling too stupid, I guess. I am glad that of everybody that could potentially read this, only one most trusted friend knows who I am. I must sound like such a lunatic..

I told her about the rose on his car, and about my feeling (or denial?) that this isn't over, and is all stirring up at the moment, and about bitch having a melt-down. She suggested that bitch might know about the rose, he might not have figured it was me, and asked her about it? Ha. I honestly fucking hope so. He probably didn't, and probably even drove off and it flew away on the street somewhere.
Anyway, time will tell, I guess.

We are in the weird zone with time at the moment, during Mercury retrograde, and when Uranus is slowing down, ready for direct motion again, and there are 2 eclipses coming up in between now and then also! Between here and Christmas, things could get very odd, and take all kinds of twists and turns of fate. There's the Uranus station on Dec 10th, (the same day as the full lunar 2nd eclipse, ffs!), and the Jupiter station on Christmas Day. Seriously, don't underestimate how weird this could be, or how much could change in your life in the next 6 weeks.