I didn't get my tarot reading last night, my friend's plane was delayed, he didn't make it home until late and was too tired. It's rescheduled for next Weds.
Results aren't always what you want are they? I got a somewhat disappointing email back from Ex about seeing his daughter. "She has to be at the airport at 11 on Sunday, and I'm having breakfast with her, and it's not convenient". Well fuck you then. What about Saturday. I tried. I reached out. It might not be convenient, and that's ok. But what hurt was the very matter-of-fact-ness. No "Hey, would you like to join us for breakfast?" Which I was hoping for on some level, some reaching out back to me. I guess the skinny cunt-faced herpes-infested smug, ugly bitch will be there instead. Oh, I love making up names for her. What fun.
Well, daughter does at least know what happened between them and us, and doesn't think much of it. She's 24. I told her most of it, being as nice about it as I could be. I didn't want to hurt her, or damage her relationship with Ex.
Email is so hard to read if you're not in the right frame of mind though, he never was good at it, and I know I can read it wrong when I'm feeling a little insecure, when maybe, it was a neutral email, not one way or the other, just here are the facts, sorry, it doesn't work out this time.
He did invite me to call her on Saturday afternoon, which I might do. I do miss her a lot.
Anyway, what I AM pleased about, is that there was the immediate opportunity for some contact! That is pretty amazing, really, when I stop to think about it, and a definite 'result', so maybe I should take away from this that there is something to be gained from it, and persistence, and perseverance are in order, and perhaps I can make some headway into improving things, if I'm careful in how I reply. It's a start.
But now I've run out of excuses to get in touch, she was a great one! I will keep focusing on it this week though. Will try the Reiki thing again, that seemed to be the thing that brought the result.
From Jonathan Cainer's horoscope page for Aquarius this week:
Football teams know that if they are playing in their home town they will always have an advantage. Most people in the crowd naturally tend to be on their side. The players will feel supported and this will reflect on their performance. Will they sense the same enthusiasm if their fans are only watching them on TV? It's a moot point. You can argue that in 'willing something to happen', even though you are a long way from the action, you are wasting your time. But it can make a big difference. You have many supporters. Focus hard and don't worry this week.
Gemini, my Ascendant, which I also always read:
We can draw up quite a list of people who feel sure that a part of you belongs to them. You are 'spoken for' in lots of ways. This is all very flattering, but it implies a great responsibility. It also explains why you are sometimes plagued by a sense of guilt. But if others have projections upon you or expectations of you, can this all be your fault? And how many of those demands are you obliged to comply with? This week's challenge involves breaking free from easy but unsatisfactory arrangements. You must be strong enough to be yourself.
Sighhh.. Feeling a little flat and fed up today. But that's hardly unexpected, I have Saturn exactly conjunct my Moon at the moment. It sucks. It's an awful transit, I have been tearful, hysterical and depressed, and crazy. A Lunatic.
I am having about 8 or 9 of my closest women over tonight, including E's sister in law, and I wish I wasn't, I want to go and curl up on E's couch, and I know how that sounds, after all that I've just written about pining over Ex! I don't know WHAT I want.. That's part of the problem. If I was clearer, I'd be more able to get it happening, and move in that direction.
I should come up with a written statement for myself, perhaps. My list of wants, from all this. I think that would help.
Over all, I think I am feeling quite positive, just getting some kind of result, even if it wasn' the one I wanted, it's still evidence that I can change things, and that the Universe is listening.
From another favourite astrologer this week, Michael Lutin, which is very interesting:
Whatever you're doing now or trying to do, or SHOULD be doing, could take a while to manifest, but no worries.
The Moon's passage over Mars indicates effort, preparation, industry, an attempt to accomplish a task.
Mars will retrograde in the early part of 2012, in Virgo where it is now.
But you shouldn't get discouraged, it's during that period you're shlogging through mud.
What you do now will come to fruition in April when Mars goes forward, right where it is now.
Post a Comment