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4am my neighbors got up this morning. Creak, creak, creak, floorboards. Nose-blowing. Footsteps. Shower at 6. I am really not too happy about that, and I feel pretty sleep deprived this morning.  I was awake until about midnight, so didn't get much more than 4 hours sleep.

Does it ever end?  Do we ever find a moment in our lives where there isn't something stressful going on? How easy would it have been to have found a place with no upstairs neighbours, why didn't I stick to my guns on that one, it was a high priority on my list!!  Argh..  I am mad and a little despairing and scared this morning, that this will be an ongoing issue. My only hope is that they DO travel a lot.  And that the 4am start is NOT a regular occurrence.  It's not like they got up and went anywhere, they were still pottering around up there when I left for work at 7.15.  WTF? 

And S came round last night, having a bad day. I didn't mind that at all, until she said that she had something that had been eating away at her like acid for a while now. That should have clued me in. When she had dinner a few weeks ago with J, J had told her that Master wanted to hook Ex up with bitch, because bitch might leave again, if she had no incentive to stay.
Now, I don't know the truth of that. I was thinking, wondering why J would say that to S.  She possibly didn't, it was possibly an invention of S's, I am not sure.
But it does raise questions I don't want to think about, such as, why didn't Master give a shit if I left or not???  Did he not figure I could well leave if that happened? That was my whole deal with those guys, none of them seemed to give a shit about me, for all their spiritual talk. 

I love S, don't get me wrong, but she is toxic sometimes.  There was no need for her to say that to me.  It hurt. She must have figured that would hurt.
She also got out of me, the email for my astrology mentor. I am kind of annoyed about that, too. I'm not sure he will take kindly to S, she's probably going to rub him up the wrong way. I'm not sure I want her talking to him about my stuff, and vice versa.  I should shoot him an email to warn him.

I dreamt about Ex last night, I was sucking his dick, just because it meant that if I was, bitch wasn't.   I am not sure I could ever suck it again though, after he's fucked that bitch with herpes.

I also dreamt I was trying to book a flight, and my mother would not stop talking, and I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing. The online form was one of those when you can't see what you've just typed like when they hide your password with *'s. Most frustrating. I finally had to go over to her and hold her mouth shut.

Here's something great a friend turned me onto recently! What an amazing voice. 

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