My first 2012 dream on New Year's morning, which I took kind of seriously, considering the day I had it on. I went to sleep asking for a dream that would give me an indication of my next year, and what I should do.
Dreamt I was camping at a festival or somewhere with some people. I went to use the toilet and this gorgeous guy accidentally opened the door on me, and stood there looking for just a split second too long... It was quite a turn on, to feel this guy's interest.
He said when I ran into him again later "wow, that was a memorable introduction".
Somehow we started kissing, but I told him about E and said we'd have to wait to get together because I was with somebody I cared about and didn't want to hurt him.
He was about 36 maybe, (few years younger than me!), brown hair, cute little snub nose, very athletic and gave off this air of adventurousness and fun. He was teasing me, challenging, pushing. I fell totally in love. Come to think of it, he looked a lot like the guy in Bad Teacher, that we saw the previous night.
Woke up realizing 2 things, both very sad, where was Ex? I didn't give a shit about him, when I met this new guy.. And that E will never be what this guy was, fun, adventurous, passionate, spontaneous. It's given me a lot to think about! Not just about E, and how he will never be that, and will always be a home-body that doesn't like to travel, but also about Ex, and how I miss what I imagined him to be, not what he actually always was, if that makes any sense.
Somehow it helped me let go of Ex a little more. "Oh, wow, there are OTHER guys out there with Ex's qualities", which I hadn't really thought about before, just assumed it was Ex I was missing, rather than what Ex stood for, fun, adventure, spontaneousness, travel, etc.
My life this last 2 years has been pretty narrow and boring in terms of things like travel and adventure. I have had Saturn transiting my 5th house. I have been nowhere, and E is really hard to get off his couch-potato butt sometimes! At the very least, I need a travel-buddy. Doesn't have to be a guy, a sex-partner, just somebody to go DO stuff with..
So maybe I cam let Ex go a little more now, now I know that it's in a large part, his qualities I miss, as much as him himself, and why it is that I miss them so much, they're qualities E doesn't have.
E has a bunch of other wonderful qualities, but I miss the travel and spontaneity a lot.
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