Just got an interesting email from S. Master's now got tax exempt status for their 'organization'. She told me I could claim tax write off on anything I had given in 2011. I left in 2010. She knows that. I think she was just trying to stir me up. She forwarded me the email Ex sent her about it. He's his treasurer, apparently. You know, that really is a covert act of bitchiness on her part, no matter how seemingly well-intentioned on the surface. She knows I hurt still. Why not let me leave it all the fuck alone? She is still obsessing about an ex of hers from about 5 years back, ffs. I am not her. I refuse to do that. I feel shitty that even 2 years is too long.
I was going to call Ex from a phone box last night but it was raining so hard here I just went home. There aren't enough public phones any more! I don't even think I know where there is one. Maybe in the mall I sometimes go to, but that's about 5 miles away through rush hour traffic from either home or work. I was going to try my local supermarket, but another night perhaps. I just want to hear his voice, for some odd reason. I don't know why, because it really wouldn't help.
Fuck this. Fuck all this. Fuck that he's gone from my life. I hate it, I'm so sad sometimes. Even 2 years after we ever had any kind of 'relationship' left.
In other news, just heard the fabulously multi-talented and sweet Mr Lon DuQuette will be visiting our city at some point in the next year. Very cool. I saw him speak about 3 years ago now, it was a wonderful evening!! He is perhaps the best writer to have written about Crowley's Thoth tarot deck, among other things. I have quite a collection of his books, including the new Revolt of the Magicians, which I am about to start reading this week.
I learned a lot from that one class on the tarot I took with him.
I had a phone conversation with him recently, after a Facebook thread, and found he was so sweet and helpful and reassuring about my spiritual life and the twists and turns it's taken, it went a long way to helping me let go of my angst about leaving Master. Baba Lon is a Good Man.
Post a Comment