Incommunicado

Well, I think I've got the message. I tried last night, to go out into the rain and dark, and find a call box to call Ex. Nothing in my neighborhood.
This morning, I tried 2 call boxes, one had coins jammed into it and was unusable, the other I called, got a wrong number.  I swear I dialed the right number, his office number, and got a different voicemail. Somehow I had transposed 2 numbers when I checked my phone against his website. Very disappointing, but that's ok. I get it. I will stop now. I just wanted to hear his voice, but not show up on his caller id.

Mercury retrogrades are excellent times to recontact ex lovers. It's renown for that, you hear from an ex sometimes during Merc retros. I live in hope that maybe he will reach out to me one day.  I told him not to, and that I wanted to wait a while before being friends again, but that was forever ago. Seems he's doing what I asked, right when I don't want him to, and I just don't have the courage to get in direct contact. I should, but I'm just too scared, and I hate that I am. 

No dreams this morning.

I sat down last night, with a pen and paper and waited for some automatic writing, or some message or other, but nothing came that was of any use. That's been successful in the past, I have made (or been given) a number of decent predictions about my life, but there was nothing last night.

E is traveling today, though I'm staying there tonight. I think I need a lunch time to myself, we tend to go to lunch together every day.  I am going through a mini-crisis I think.  I'm sure I will get over it.  Just feeling a bit restless after yesterday's dream of hot sex elsewhere.