Almost ever. Almost. I still think having the cat put to sleep then being told Ex wanted a divorce the next day was worse, but this wasn't far off.
Still totally exhausted. I came down with a 24 hour flu on Tuesday night, spent the night shivering, with chills and fever, aching muscles, I don't think I actually slept, I was in a complete fever-induced dream-state for the whole night. S came in and woke me about 8.30, so I must have slept a little. I told him I was sick, and he told me not to believe it, and he wanted to go down town and do touristy things here. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, and sat with him for breakfast at a local restaurant for an hour, and then we headed out to see some of the sights I have been to a million times before. It was a miserable day. He wasn't taking no for an answer, which in a way did me good, it did make me haul my ass out of bed. Then that night I had to drive with E to where we were staying for the funeral. S didn't leave until Thursday morning, so I gave him a key, and he let himself out when he left.
The funeral was yesterday, and it was open casket. I have never been to one of those before. It was quite disturbing. I wasn't prepared to see the body there, all made up and fake-looking, like a Madam Tussaud's figure. It was quite creepy. He had suffered extensive bruising at the hospital when they had inserted various pipes and tubes, and done CPR etc, and the embalmer did a good job of covering all that up, but he still didn't look right. His ears had fallen off. That, I found quite disgusting.
God, what a week. I don't want a repeat of that, ever again. Let's see, Ex let it be known through a text from his friend, that he didn't want to communicate with me again, there was a death in the family the same day, I fucked around on my honey and felt horribly guilty, I had flu and felt like shit, and had to go to see a dead body, and see all the grieving relatives pass it by one by one. I was with immediate family, so had to comfort the widow all through the ceremony, too. She came sat by me, which was really sweet. That part was lovely, in an absurd kind of way.
But none of it I want to repeat.
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