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Had a sleepless night. E and I went to one of my favourite expensive restaurants last night, I ate too much rich gooey goat cheese, I think. I hadn't been back there since I went with Master a few years ago, it was reclaiming a little territory for myself again, creating a new memory of the place.  (I realize if you're just passing by, you might think I mean 'Master' in the s&m sense, I don't, I mean Spiritual Master).
We sat outside on their patio, and ate and drank awesomely.  But, the richness kept me awake feeling a little queasy and nauseous most of the night.
Weird dreams.. Including being at a garage sale or somewhere, and perusing books, and finding a whole set of video tapes (my brain is stuck in the 80's?) of previous Master's teachings. Hmm.. Maybe I need to watch some video of previous Master, I really do miss him sometimes.  Life has not been the same since he died. He was a real Master, not like Master's pretense and manipulations, although Master had the Transmission thing down, and the teaching, he just didn't have the personal integrity, or total lack of ego. 

I ran into some friends while out with E last night, too, that was lovely. She has had a brain tumor removed since I last saw her! Wow.. Crazy.  She looked good though.  They are friends of another friend of mine who is also a Realizer, (and into Crowley, incidentally), I think I talked about them last week, I ran into him then, too, so that's twice now. Interesting. Maybe I should give my Realizer friend a call. 

I am doing a good job of letting go of my crush on CEO, I think.  Reality has kind of kicked in there, and I have realized that it really doesn't have a future, beyond friendship at least, no matter what shit I make up in my head about how it 'could' turn out. Sadness, letting go of yet another one.
CFO, CEO's best friend, emailed me this morning, all chatty and nice. He's coming to visit when CEO is here too. That will be fun. I like CFO too, also a hottie, (married) and very sweet. These guys are great eye-candy..  It was nice to get a little energy from him this morning, cheered me up a little.

I am feeling old and fat and sad today. But not too badly, it is Favourite Boss's birthday tomorrow, and we will possibly go for a drink later after work, that will cheer me up. He's pretty ok, for a Christian and a Republican. He's a bad-boy wannabe.  I do my best to bring him out a little, when I can, both on that level, and spiritually. When we've had a drink, he opens his soul up a little more, and I always love what I see, hidden under the Republican veneer.

No plans for the weekend, just staying at E's, and watching tv. That actually doesn't sound like a bad deal to me today. I think I could use some of that. A snuggle on the couch, and some decent wine, and good tv. Breaking Bad, Falling Skies, Alphas, Oddities.
I just hope the stupid little asshole kid is not there this weekend, God, he irritates me, on all levels.  
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