Came around to the same old conclusion I always get to about things. If I had really wanted CEO it would have been easy and just manifested differently like it did with E. Things with E just fell into place, there was nothing else to do but go with it. He asked me on a date. I went.
CEO wouldn't have been married, he would have just swept me off my feet, both of us freely available, with no complications. If it was 'meant to be', then it would have been.
So something in the core of me didn't want this. Doesn't matter how amazingly good the synastry between us is, if the stars aren't lining up for it to actually happen.
He called this morning, and didn't stop to ask me how I was or make small talk. Just wanted to talk to my boss. Business as usual.
He is coming up in 2 weeks though, my boss told me when I pried a little. At least that's after when I next get my hair done. ;-) That gives me 2 weeks to lose a few more lbs. Hey, let's at least use this for some good. I have lost I think about 2lbs now, which as I wasn't losing anything at all for months, I was gaining, so that is pretty good.
I have been walking home from work, it's about 3 miles. And skipping the carbs. Eating salads, etc. I had an avocado, a few chips, and a fresh tomato mozzarella basil caper balsamic salad last night, and also went out for another walk, about 8pm, because I could hear my upstairs neighbours fucking. I have never heard that before. Turning the tv up louder didn't work, so I went out for another walk, slamming the door a little, so they'd hear it.
Wow, she's a screamer. He was really going at her, too, by the sound of the squeaky bed. I hope they had fun.
I do hope that I don't have to hear that again though. It was irritating, honestly. And I think it pissed me off a little that I'm not getting that kind of sex myself. I was trying to watch tv, noisy bastards. They can't do it all that often, because in 6 months, that was the first time I've ever heard anything, and they were loud enough that I wouldn't have missed it previously.
I also dreamt this morning that I was rolling out a sheet of play-doh with E's youngest, and we couldn't find any cookie cutters to cut our shapes out with.
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