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Part II of my Scientology relationship class last night. It was tough, brought up some 'stuff'.  More on the ARC triangle, and my realizing that I have no triangle whatsoever with Ex, so there's not really any hope for being able to work with it and heal all the hate and bullshit. And I would like that.  Sad. 

Manners, and why they are important to have. Really. This is pretty elementary stuff, but so many of us don't seem to understand that.
Manners are what LRH described as social lubrication. (Even more so than alcohol, if you ask me).  You can't be successful if you have bad manners, because people don't like you, and don't help you succeed. Basic fact. But put so simply and logically, I think that's what I really love about these courses. It's not any amazing profoundly mind-blowing stuff, but it's a really great simple, logical, approachable way to teach people the basics, that maybe nobody ever taught you.  I mean, I have never really considered the ramifications of having or not having good manners, and how that affects your success in life. Of course I knew that on some level, but never voiced it to myself.
Basically, you can "grant people Beingness", in other words, you give them the space just to be, with no agenda or bullshit.  You acknowledge another person, that simple.  People like it. They feel important, cared for, heard.
All any of us really wants is for the other person to hear and acknowledge them. And that can be the start of the repair of so many bad relationships.
The place to start in fixing anything with anybody is finding something to agree on, and finding a way, then, to establish that 2-way communication. I like that LRH describes communication as a 2 way flow of data between 2 terminals.  You're a terminal, the other person is a terminal, think about the 'physics' involved in your communications.  2-way flow...  Again, something so many people don't seem to understand. 

If you have enough of your own 'Beingness', you can grant some to others. (In other words, mine, homophobes aren't secure with their own heterosexual 'beingness', ya think?? So they can never grant the wonderful and fabulous Queers in their lives, any beingness, because they don't have a lot to spare.)  I like how that works.  Simple, beautiful, truth.

I feel good about my own Beingness realizing that, I love all my gay friends to BITS. They can have all the Beingness in the Universe, as far as I am concerned..    

So go ahead, feel safe in your own Beingness enough to grant some to others in your life.

Then comes 'doing'. So, if you're Being well enough, you want to 'do' as a result of it. That makes shit happen, like a productive useful life, which leads to a good job (or whatever other way you might choose to contribute to society) and all the rest, and that leads to 'having'.  Not having in the plain old "I have a Gucci-ghetto-purse" sense of it, but just a general comfortableness with your physical needs and universe, I think, which includes your relationship with money.

I also realized how badly mannered Ex was.  He was a shithead at that. I never really felt that I was granted much Beingness, he was always trying to change something about me, or had some kind of hidden self-serving agenda going on. Which is why a former client is suing his ass right now.  Fail.   Manners go a long way, they stop you losing your business license. 
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