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Interesting realization this morning, this young girl in a gorgeous tight fitting red dress was standing by the side of the road on my drive in to work this morning. 
I didn't ever dress like a slut, I didn't want other women or my mom to hate me, and that was never consciously the case, but something buried deep in me that was always painful and shameful.
I have always dressed somewhat boringly, t shirts and jeans, nothing too slutty or revealing or glamorous. Which is odd, as I am not a prude, I don't think so, anyway. 

But the more I thought about it, I could hear my mom calling me a slut and a whore, and getting very abusive and angry with me. She hit me more than a few times. She was pretty fucking nasty when I was growing up.
She was always over weight, and never very attractive herself, and very jealous of my looks and skinny body and big tits. 

 Dreamt I was in a corporate building of some kind, all marble and executive, and we got to the top there was a fairground ride. Jeremy (one of my first crushes in high school) and I were in love, it was so sweet, we were really happy to be with each other.  Funny, as he was always just a 'friend', he didn't have any interest in me.

I seem to have had a day and night of reconciling some teenage angst here..  ;-)  
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