Comfortably Numb

Had a nice weekend with E. We went down town, and did some touristy things, it was fun.  Had an expensive lunch, went to the museum, walked in the sun. I love the down town area in my city, I don't spend enough time there.

E and I had great sex on Friday night, I was a little drunk, that always helps drop some of my inhibitions. I think E appreciated it. I'm not sure his son in the room next door did though.   ;)

Things are a little better this week, I think since my crush on CEO has waned just a little.

I had a dream on Saturday morning that I was curled up asleep in bed with my Ex from my early 20's, Jon.  It was nice. I missed him for a long, long time. His sister and I are friends on FB, and I see his photo on her page now and again. He's not on FB himself, which is not a bad thing.  I just get a little taste once in a while, of the life I left behind, and it always makes me slightly sad. 

What's with all these dreams about ex boyfriends lately??

I am so tired today.  I could fall asleep at my desk. 

I notice my sex drive is so low at the moment. I just don't have that much sex drive at the moment.  Even my crush on CEO is more emotional than sexual in some ways. I fantasize about a new life, starting again in a new town, being secure, being married again, not necessarily about hot sex. I feel old. 

October 1st is one of my 'weird days', a day in the calendar that has seen many odd things happen in my life, people die, I move house, that sort of thing. Of course, now I'm saying it, nothing happens.  But for years, it did.  Every October 1st.

Tomorrow is another day. I have a hypnosis class scheduled tomorrow night, to help stop me being a fat lazy bastard.  It can't hurt.  

I feel like life got derailed and I am sitting "comfortably numb" on a sideline somewhere, having quite forgotten the journey.

Hello,
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?

Come on
Now
I hear you're feeling down
I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again

Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move
But I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like
Two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain
You would not understand
This is not how I am
I... Have become comfortably numb

O.K.
Just a little pin prick
There'll be no more aaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick

Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working
Good
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on
It's time to go

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move
But I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye

I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown
The dream is gone
I... Have become
Comfortably numb