When..

So, nobody knows exactly when CEO is arriving this morning.. I am waiting..  That's the stupid Cosmic Joke for this morning.   ;) 
Still, at least I have had time to tidy our office up a little, and dispose of the evidence. I am not kidding, I have hidden the beer and Jack Daniels in the storage closet.

Had a long chat on the phone with D last night, he's so sweet.  I might take another train trip down to see him soon.  I have wanderlust. I need to get out of town again.  Might go down there for a weekend over Christmas or New Years'.  

E is going to an early meeting Wednesday morning, so tonight's date night got canceled. It's interesting how we're being moved apart gradually, things are opening up.  I want it to go like that, a gradual drifting apart, rather than some harsh 'ending'.  I do care about E, I just don't think I want to be 'in a relationship' at the moment. It just feels really restrictive to me at this point in my life. Trouble is, I know I'd miss it if it went, too!

We did have fabulous sex at the weekend, it was good. So it is possible. I think on some level, my feelings for him are opening back up a little which is good, but that doesn't change what I want to happen.  Space.. Space.. More room to breathe...

Waiting..    I think in some ways that is what I am attracted to about CEO, he has all these other busy commitments, and I would never be number one.  That' not a bad thing, I don't think.  I think I'd be happy to have just an occasional 'thing' with him.  A night here and there, when he's in town.  Wouldn't mind that.

I think I need a marriage like Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera, who lived in separate houses next door to each other.. lol   Perfect..  Next towns, even better.   At least I have that with E, he lives in another city 20 miles away.

Fuck, I shouldn't be in a relationship..  ;-)