Restless

Feeling kind of like I might be getting sick again today. I am so annoyed, I have had so many colds this last year!  I have spent most of my winter coughing and hacking, tight lungs, feeling very unfit, after a cold I had around Thanksgiving that still hasn't entirely left. I am depressed by it, I hate being sick. Not that anybody likes it I guess, but I just hate that feeling of my body not doing what I want it to do. 
There are so many reports in the newspapers here about flu and norovirus, and all kinds of horrific things. I want to escape physical life sometimes and just float around disembodied. 

I used to have powerful out-of-body experiences, and very vivid flying dreams pretty regularly when I was a kid and a teenager, I haven't had much of that in my adult life, but it always left me with a feeling that I wish I could do that at will, when my body is misbehaving, I could just leave it for a while. Being free of a body is ecstatic!! Such an amazing thing.  Nothing matters, you're just free emotion, somehow.  Everything feels so slow in the physical realm when you come back. 

I went out to dinner with my neighbor last night, and I think that didn't really help, I had 2 glasses of wine, and a large beet salad. I have been pooping beets all morning, and feeling a little hung over, too, it's no fun.

It was a nice evening though, we met our other neighbor at his place of work and ate there, he's a chef, and a very good one!  He had no idea we were coming, it was nice to surprise him!  We got talking to this woman who was there at the bar, traveling by her self, here from LA. I always love talking to strangers for an evening, she was very sweet. We gave her a ride to the bus center down town.

Life feels so odd at the moment. I haven't quite pinned it down to anything in particular, but I am just feeling odd. Like I want to wake up in 3 months' time, and find that everything became ok again, while I was asleep, and that I missed all the crap.

I feel a big need to change something. I wish I knew what and how and when.  It's not E, or my job changing, it's something else, deeper in me than that.  I feel restless.