obsessions

I spent all weekend hoping to get an email today from A. Nothing. Ah, the millions of people in that position today, probably. What makes the ego think it's uniquely alone or unwanted? Such is the human condition.

My husband decided to throw a party next weekend, his first name on the list? A. Was he going by alphabet in his head? Probably. I also think he really likes him. Hm..
So, I sent out the invitations. Maybe tomorrow I will get my email.

I discovered on line today, looking at our astrological synastry, that A and I have a lot of powerful aspects. Moon-Mars conjunctions, Jupiter sextiles, Chiron-Moon conjunctions, Mars oppositions. 5th house Pluto-Uranus conjunct opposite Venus. But put any 2 charts together, in various combinations of natal, progressed, etc, I'm sure those aspects will turn up. One, though, I noticed in particular, was the Venus-Pluto/Uranus opposition. My Venus. Classic obsession astrology. Pluto/Uranus in the 5th, the 5th being house of romance, among other things.

I need to make sure I don't turn into Kathy Bates, perhaps? Message understood. No chaining my object of desire to the bed and breaking ankles. Well, not without permission, and I'll leave the ankles in tact. They're nice ankles. Whoops, how did my crush suddenly get to take up most of my thinking day?

Interestingly enough, this whole thing has really made me also fall more in love with my husband.

Last time I had a Pluto-Venus opposition with somebody, we're still would-be lovers, 15 years, 3 other relationships, and 5,000 miles later. S also told me I was his soul-mate.
Did I mention that was what A said last Saturday?

Men, seriously, do you say that type of thing to women you're not attracted to? His reasons were lovely, too. He said he's soul-mates with his sister, who is my best girlfriend, and he knows she is my soul-sister, so he just came out and said it. "Perhaps we're soul-mates too, I don't believe in us just having one each." Neither do I. I think we have several sometimes, perhaps a lot of them even, soul-families.
I don't believe in the boy-girl soul-mate myth, but I do believe in soul-families. Groups of souls that travel together.

There is a Mars-Uranus conjunction in a few days, directly ontop of my Venus, opposite A's Uranus/Pluto.

I have to drop all this 'mind'. Mind is very unhealthy sometimes. My path is living from the heart, not the genitals or the mind... I have been very undisciplined and lacking 'sila', (poise, balance, equilibrium, gracefulness, self-control), about this latest ego-trip I'm on. Whoever would believe I'm capable of so much else than this mind-cloud? I am.