Altars

I had a powerful set of imagery come up this weekend. A was at church on Sunday morning with his parents. A is not Christian, he is more pagan in his outlook, loving nature, seeing spirits, non-judgmental, happy with other people's views, etc. But he grew up with fanatical Christians in the Deep South, and has been in recovery ever since. So there he is, at the moment.
I knew he was going to go to Church, we had talked about it.
So Sunday morning, I had a very wild fantasy about being in church with him, and basically him doing me there, in front of the whole congregation, on the altar.

Before that stops you in your tracks as wild blasphemy, in my religion, we are all Sacred, the body is not a thing of shame, and if you are told by a supposed 'priest' you are sinful, bad, and somehow not of God, isn't that the real blasphemy?
Anyway, it was a little fun, and I enjoyed the fantasy.

A texted me at the exact same moment, from Church, to let me know he was there... So we exchanged a few texts all morning, and I ended up with saying I missed him. He sent back a smile and said he had really enjoyed our last few weekends together too.

Felt more than a little like some 'Sex magick' to me...

So, last night, husband and I had sex. Just regular, ordinary sex. In bed, as per usual. It was nothing spectacular, but nice enough. I didn't orgasm. The first time we've had sex since San Francisco, 2 weeks ago. He did, far too soon, which is usually the deal, and a big part of why I find myself in this situation at the moment.
But, this morning, I dreamed I was prostrate, face down on the floor of a Tibetan-style temple, with our Spiritual Master seated on the top of the altar on a chair, while I was being dutifully done from behind, by husband.

2 altars, 2 very different images... And 2 very different feelings. I know, being a fantasy, I had control over number 1, but it was happy, mischievous, loving, and totally dirty, in the best kind of way...
Dream number 2 was more of a feeling of 'having to', it being required, no relationship, as I was facing away from husband. Almost a part of the suppression of women and joy and spontaneity, down through the ages, rather than being enjoyed or playful, and weirdly, didn't feel nearly so Sacred as being done so passionately, sweetly, humorously, face to face in relationship, on the Altar by A.
That felt like a breaking free, a poke in the eye at hypocrisy, a shout out for freedom and love.

Ultimately, a woman like me, is out to make my own body my altar. I am Sacred, not as an ego, but as one who can conduct and bring spiritual force into the world in such a way.