Blink

I had a fantastic weekend in the desert with Friend.

So much simplification and washing of mind, of the tendency to worry about future and past, and create either one from fantasy and illusion. Really all we have is now, isn't it? Isn't that where the Great Ones of the Vedas dwell, in the Moment? Brahma's Great Blink.. An Eternity really does pass for those of us with a mind, while the Great Ones let an Aeon pass in the blink of an Ajna.

While my own endless time was passing in the airport waiting lounge, like a true addict, I texted A. He replied instantly, and asked me to call. His plane left at the exact same time mine did, though his flight was 3 hours longer. He went to the Rodeo. Ha. I guess we had very different weekends. It was kind of a comfort to think he was in the air, even if on a different plane. I did indeed imagine joining the Mile High Club... I hate flying. It passed the time.

Husband was there waiting at the airport for me, and I was glad. He has been through his own ordeal this weekend. I can't imagine losing him. I need to let my life be simple, though I don't know how that will happen, unless I really do take things moment to moment, and don't judge myself if I can't do it. It takes practice, and I guess that's why they call it that. Spiritual practice.

I know from past experience, that guilt will do terrible things to a relationship.

I think I dropped some self-judgment. That alone is a big step for me.