Spent another beautiful day with A yesterday. (Husband was out of town for the entire day, but knew about it. I wasn't sneaky.) He came by at 11.15, 15 minutes early, and took me to lunch at my favorite veggie cafe.
I told him about what husband said last week, and he said he had noticed husband picking up on the "vibe between us" too. No doubt. Seems I am the only one oblivious to what people are feeling. He mentioned something about our relationship being 'innocent'. Really? Then what is that "vibe" you feel, A?? As Shakespeare once wrote in McBeth, "Methinks the Lady doth protest too much."
A didn't spell out what that vibe was exactly. It seems so silly that neither one of us has actually come out and voiced it directly yet. That is probably a good thing, for now.
We then went and took a walk on one of the beaches near Sister's house, on our way there. Then, we got talking more directly, when he asked me if he could tell me what he thought about my situation. He said that he knew he was a catalyst in my relationship with husband. Yes. That he is. For sure, the chemical ingredients are all there. I have a chemistry (and alchemy) background, and indeed, the technical definition of a catalyst does apply. And if it is all so 'innocent', how can that be?
I also told him about a few more things in our astrological synastry. Like the Moon-Mercury Venus conjunction. That was as close as I got to spelling it out. 'My Venus is conjunct your Moon and Mercury, and opposite your Uranus/Pluto conjunction'. Meaning that you totally touch all that is feminine in me, and explode me like Hiroshima. And that you can read me like a book, no doubt. My mars is conunct his moon, and we have a Venus-Pluto opposition, and a Mars opposition, and a Jupiter-Venus trine, and a few more choice bits of classic sexual chemistry significators, but that can also wait to be told.
He also gave me that direct soul-to-soul look that is starting to freak me out in the best kind of way, and said, "You know, you can say anything at all to me, that you need to say, and there won't be any judgments." Maybe one day. The time isn't right for that yet. Sister thinks that, too. No judgements, isn't exactly, "I want to hear what you have to say about us", is it?
Sister had a lot to say about it all too, which was helpful. When we got to her place, A went for a nap, and left us to have some girl-time. We talked.. About both our situations. And more about A's past, and his recent relationship history, or lack of, it was very healing. He hasn't dated anybody in quite some time, and now I can feel perhaps what his reluctance is. He was very badly hurt by his last partner, and she said his heart is so open sometimes, that women have taken great advantage of him in the past, so no wonder the poor guy is so cautious. Things are making more sense, after hearing that.
Perhaps the most pertinent thing I can say to the spirit of this blog, is that I ended up giving them both a Reiki attunement each, which was pretty mind-blowing, to say the very least about it. She had visions of the Dragon awakening in her again, after a lifetime of repression of it. I could see the Dragon awake in her eyes afterwards, they shone like I have never seen in her before.
A felt himself in unity with the Ocean, bliss-full, floating, happy, and we giggled a lot, like a couple of stoned teenagers, wordlessly, just sharing happiness. The energy was so very tangible between the 3 of us there, mindless, happy, reconnected. Real Magick happened.
Me, I saw the Light of God explode through my head like the Sunshine.
The 4 of us went to dinner at their favourite place, we drank some great sake, and ate some of the best sushi ever, and then Sister's husband took A to the airport for his trip to see their parents, and hopefully create much healing. Sister said he knows, of course, what is going on between A and me. I had wondered.
Sister and I stayed up late, talking, vegging out in front of the TV. I got home about 11.30, and went straight to sleep, after successfully practicing some tantric "homework" from Friend. I tried hard, but stopping the visuals was impossible, after such a rich day of imagery and feeling to draw on.
I also awoke in the night, having had another violent orgasm in my sleep. The dream that caused that was pretty interesting... I was fucking my younger cousin, and it was somehow him, and A, at the same time. I do think my cousin is pretty hot, but that's a taboo subject, isn't it?? But I think it says something about the karmic closeness I feel about A perhaps. There is almost an incestuous feel to it in some ways. We have been through various lifetimes already, but neither of us can see how that manifested. Yet.
I think if I had been a guy, I would have spent my whole day with A with a fierce hard on. I'm glad sometimes that I'm a woman. Although, there were times I worried that the damp patch between my legs would show through my camo-pants... I was dripping... Being horny for an entire day and night is physically demanding.
I didn't do too well about letting him chase me, per se, but I could have done a lot worse. It's a learning curve. I don't feel bad. And I did share with him my understanding about my own need to transcend that pattern, and the new way I was creating for my relationships from now on. I said I needed to be valued as a woman. He did at least suggest our next -slightly illicit- activity together, when he gets back from his trip, which, incidentally, is only 2 hours after I get back from my trip to see Friend. Maybe we'll meet at the airport if my plane is delayed, wouldn't that be a trip...
So now, 2 weeks to get some perspective, while he is a thousand miles away. I will share what comes up here, but hopefully it will be more in line with what this blog is about, rather than my stupid schoolgirl crush.
I told him about what husband said last week, and he said he had noticed husband picking up on the "vibe between us" too. No doubt. Seems I am the only one oblivious to what people are feeling. He mentioned something about our relationship being 'innocent'. Really? Then what is that "vibe" you feel, A?? As Shakespeare once wrote in McBeth, "Methinks the Lady doth protest too much."
A didn't spell out what that vibe was exactly. It seems so silly that neither one of us has actually come out and voiced it directly yet. That is probably a good thing, for now.
We then went and took a walk on one of the beaches near Sister's house, on our way there. Then, we got talking more directly, when he asked me if he could tell me what he thought about my situation. He said that he knew he was a catalyst in my relationship with husband. Yes. That he is. For sure, the chemical ingredients are all there. I have a chemistry (and alchemy) background, and indeed, the technical definition of a catalyst does apply. And if it is all so 'innocent', how can that be?
I also told him about a few more things in our astrological synastry. Like the Moon-Mercury Venus conjunction. That was as close as I got to spelling it out. 'My Venus is conjunct your Moon and Mercury, and opposite your Uranus/Pluto conjunction'. Meaning that you totally touch all that is feminine in me, and explode me like Hiroshima. And that you can read me like a book, no doubt. My mars is conunct his moon, and we have a Venus-Pluto opposition, and a Mars opposition, and a Jupiter-Venus trine, and a few more choice bits of classic sexual chemistry significators, but that can also wait to be told.
He also gave me that direct soul-to-soul look that is starting to freak me out in the best kind of way, and said, "You know, you can say anything at all to me, that you need to say, and there won't be any judgments." Maybe one day. The time isn't right for that yet. Sister thinks that, too. No judgements, isn't exactly, "I want to hear what you have to say about us", is it?
Sister had a lot to say about it all too, which was helpful. When we got to her place, A went for a nap, and left us to have some girl-time. We talked.. About both our situations. And more about A's past, and his recent relationship history, or lack of, it was very healing. He hasn't dated anybody in quite some time, and now I can feel perhaps what his reluctance is. He was very badly hurt by his last partner, and she said his heart is so open sometimes, that women have taken great advantage of him in the past, so no wonder the poor guy is so cautious. Things are making more sense, after hearing that.
Perhaps the most pertinent thing I can say to the spirit of this blog, is that I ended up giving them both a Reiki attunement each, which was pretty mind-blowing, to say the very least about it. She had visions of the Dragon awakening in her again, after a lifetime of repression of it. I could see the Dragon awake in her eyes afterwards, they shone like I have never seen in her before.
A felt himself in unity with the Ocean, bliss-full, floating, happy, and we giggled a lot, like a couple of stoned teenagers, wordlessly, just sharing happiness. The energy was so very tangible between the 3 of us there, mindless, happy, reconnected. Real Magick happened.
Me, I saw the Light of God explode through my head like the Sunshine.
The 4 of us went to dinner at their favourite place, we drank some great sake, and ate some of the best sushi ever, and then Sister's husband took A to the airport for his trip to see their parents, and hopefully create much healing. Sister said he knows, of course, what is going on between A and me. I had wondered.
Sister and I stayed up late, talking, vegging out in front of the TV. I got home about 11.30, and went straight to sleep, after successfully practicing some tantric "homework" from Friend. I tried hard, but stopping the visuals was impossible, after such a rich day of imagery and feeling to draw on.
I also awoke in the night, having had another violent orgasm in my sleep. The dream that caused that was pretty interesting... I was fucking my younger cousin, and it was somehow him, and A, at the same time. I do think my cousin is pretty hot, but that's a taboo subject, isn't it?? But I think it says something about the karmic closeness I feel about A perhaps. There is almost an incestuous feel to it in some ways. We have been through various lifetimes already, but neither of us can see how that manifested. Yet.
I think if I had been a guy, I would have spent my whole day with A with a fierce hard on. I'm glad sometimes that I'm a woman. Although, there were times I worried that the damp patch between my legs would show through my camo-pants... I was dripping... Being horny for an entire day and night is physically demanding.
I didn't do too well about letting him chase me, per se, but I could have done a lot worse. It's a learning curve. I don't feel bad. And I did share with him my understanding about my own need to transcend that pattern, and the new way I was creating for my relationships from now on. I said I needed to be valued as a woman. He did at least suggest our next -slightly illicit- activity together, when he gets back from his trip, which, incidentally, is only 2 hours after I get back from my trip to see Friend. Maybe we'll meet at the airport if my plane is delayed, wouldn't that be a trip...
So now, 2 weeks to get some perspective, while he is a thousand miles away. I will share what comes up here, but hopefully it will be more in line with what this blog is about, rather than my stupid schoolgirl crush.
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