Addiction

A and I were up way too late chatting on Facebook last night. He started the chat.
So much for not seeing each other, and having a break for a while. So much for my promise to Husband and Friend not to see him.

That's ego though, isn't it? An addict. As egos, we are addicted to our patterns. A lot of self-delusion, too. What else to addicts do, but crave their fix, and lie, cheat, steal, do anything to get it... A is like crack, I can't get enough, and don't have what it requires to go cold turkey.
With Husband away, I feel like an alcoholic in a liquor store.

Which 'self' made the promises?

A: do you still want to get together tomorrow eve, or would you like to meet Thursday instead?

Me: Either way, I don't mind. Tomorrow would be great if you can make it. If not, Thursday's cool too.

A: well, thurs would allow a later evening (if need be) as I am not working Friday.

Me: OK, sounds good. Me neither.

I had had that same thought too, I confess. Here's something else from a little later on, after I was sharing something that happened earlier in the day which was, I thought, synchronistic...

A: wow. you're getting all kinds of stuff 'related' to me. do you think they're true synchronicities or are you just thinking about me all the time

(sorry that sounds arrogant)

Me: Both ;p

Ah, um.. busted... lol