Beast

I got a sweet email from A tonight. I am so scared he is going to withdraw, pull away, and that I would lose him, during our period of me getting my life straight again. And right after all this last 4 months of slow torture. Been missing him a great deal tonight. At least tonight, he's making that time apart a bit sweeter. But I feel the pain of separation.

I think as relationships are being revealed to me as an addiction I need to kick, at least, the binding habits of fear-driven needy ones, driven not by love but by social/parental conditioning, the unpleasant symptoms of withdrawal will be felt, like any addiction.

A: I have to admit to feeling a little bit of 'withdrawal' this evening. A small urge to come over and do more of the same this evening with you. :-)

That's a great picture on that tarot card. [I sent him the Lust card, scroll down a few posts.] You were certainly naked and riding (and being ridden by) a beast this weekend... ;-p

Agape,

A

Me: Mmm, I'm feeling a bit of that withdrawal, too, being honest, and I was resisting sending you a text earlier in the day.. I wasn't even going to get on line and check my email until morning, but felt like I should, and missed you by only 10 minutes or so. :-)

You are indeed a Great Beast of the best kind.. I'd ride you again any day. ;p
Agape, and Eros, too.

Thank you, beloved A, for confessing that urge to me. Now quit being a fucking good boy, it doesn't suit you, and get your Beastly self over here again, before my husband gets back...