Power

I am still alive, and even feeling somewhat happy and strong again, after facing down one of my own worse demons and kicking it's ASS last night...
Nothing to fear but fear itself.

When everything 'else' is gone, there is only love left in it's place, and the knowledge that you are still alive as that.

A is an utter asshole, incapable of intimate relationship, and not deserving of me. And I still love him like crazy, and I say that with great love and humor, and I'm sure we will still be great friends, but lovers? He needs to really learn some lessons first.
And I'm sure if anybody at all ever reads this blog, besides my one friend, you saw that coming. You must have. I feel pretty fucking stupid.

It's an insult to the female ego, to meet a man who claims not to be attracted to me. I am relatively attractive, and have always had pretty much any man I wanted. Even after the (what I thought was) glorious fucking we did for 3 days on the July 4th weekend, and the joke about 'when can we fuck next'. Well, apparently, he isn't attracted to me. Go figure. Don't most guys want to fuck anything with a hole in it?? I guess A is not most guys.

Tantra. Move on. See the mind as illusion, and quickly let it go. That is power. That is the lesson here.
I'm sure that there are a million tears I could cry in this moment, if I thought about it too much.

Oh, and that apartment last night also sucked.