Rose

So Husband and I are ok. Friend came over and sat with us again last night, and we clarified what needs to happen.
The divorce is going through. I will not contest it. I don't know how that affects me legally, I should find out. There is so much to do!

I am looking at an apartment tomorrow night, nearby, and Husband has offered his help with moving, practicalities, etc, and I still have cat-access rights, which is crucial to everybody's mental health. My cat and I (his cat, really), are very attached. Very. She is the love of my life, and that is the hardest part in some ways, the thing I can't let myself really feel. The wound. My Baby. It feels like losing a child.
And I know she will feel it, and that's the saddest thing of all.

But this needs to happen. And we'll get through it. Worse things have happened to people. I am lucky.
It really looks like we will be able to stay friends. I dearly hope so. I do love him. He loves me. Anything less than staying in that space of love would be crazy.

And this morning, I sent A a single red rose to his office. Is that cool, to send a guy roses at work? I feel like a fool, a mad love-intoxicated fool. A Troubadouress. I have lost my senses.
The message on the card said 'Thank you" but I meant a whole lot more.

I was lying in bed early this morning, thinking about A and my heart opened right up, and I went into bliss for a few minutes. That I am thankful for. What else is all this about, if not about being able to open our hearts?