Settlement

I am feeling the weight of the world lately. I need a long rest, a long weekend with nothing to do, nowhere to be, plenty of sleep. I had a disturbed night last night, it was hot, I had nightmares.

I am ready for a new start, I just wish I could wake up 2 months down the line, with all the shit handled, my new place all up together, etc.
I can't even think about what I have to handle to get into the new place, all the people I have to notify of my move, etc.

Husband and I had a chat about money, he is buying me out of my share of the house, whether we get the divorce soon or not, as now I have my own place to pay for, I need it! I am so thankful that we are in a position that won't leave him losing the house... I will get about $30,000 from the deal. That's fair, that's what I put in. I won't be asking for more. $30,000, the furniture and stuff that is mine, that I paid for, which is negotiable, and visiting rights with the cat. That is non-negotiable. ;-)

It really makes me so sad when some women go viciously after everything they can, I don't think it should be about screwing our husbands over, acting out of fear, etc. I am not going down that route. I know so many broken men that have been through that, lost everything, and that's sad. I actually LOVE my husband still, and don't want to see him go through that. I will make my own way, I always have. I am responsible for this divorce, anyhow.

I also think there is a certain karma associated with it, too. And a certain disempowering that fearful people bring upon themselves when acting out of greed. I am not buying into my survival fears, I will be just fine.