HNT #60 - Getting Scapegoated is getting Crucified!

LEGAL OPINION FROM JUSTANSWER.COM: I have received a FL & CA lawyer's legal consultation that opening someone else's eMail without permission warrants an action against the unauthorized opener for invasion of privacy of the owner of a cell phone with eMail access. It warrants further action as a case of computer pirating of the owner of the eMail account. The lawyer continues, "YOU appear to have an action against her boyfriend for invasion of your privacy as well since you had a reasonable expectation that your eMails would remain private."

I don't know every essential detail of this case but they include that a new boyfriend (bf) of a platonic bartender friend of mine seems to be jealous, of all people, of MOI! LMAO! This bf must be projecting HIS motives onto me &, ironically, I am the last person who would adopt HIS motives now that I know them better. Overly self-centered and hedonistic, best I can tell. He appears to be using a power play from any of the several available "Pick-Up Artist" (PUA) systems by such authors as Neil Strauss or David DeAngelo. These are control-freak systems full of manipulative sociopathy techniques to "win" as a Bad Boy tricking women into bed with mind games for free pussy to suit the whims of the PUA. I do not care to gossip & I have never spoken negatively or thought like this about this bf before, but I had no reason to before.

I am concerned for this female friend because she has begun to appear "desperate" to keep her recently-acquired bf as she thinks they are very compatible in most activities and she has been feeling the nesting instinct strongly over the last 2 years, I am sure. Too strongly to wait for another highly compatible partner to arrive in her life. She also seems to have a significant Bad Boy Addiction that she is in denial over. She knows well and good that I am NOT a Bad Boy and that I despise mind games ANYone plays. (They all choose not to see thru the twisted psychology like I can as a sensitive psych-major type.) However, she read the riot act to the bf in front of his friends last Friday night when she discovered his unauthorized invasion of the privacy of our old eMails and she stormed off loudly from a downtown club. BUT, by doing this, she risked losing the only current realistic love in her life. I am 30 years older and dedicated to a platonic, professor-like relationship with her so it should be obvious to everyone that I am no threat to the bf. I am just her platonic friend who never meets her outside the bar and has no contact except weekly emails she promised to send in return for help buying a computer a year ago.

Of course, she is just playing into his control-freak ways by not continuing to be outraged at his overcontrolling and sneaky snoop-behavior. (They appear nowhere near becoming engaged and have been a confirmed couple in public only since last Christmas, '09.) But somewhere between trading Valentine's gifts with me at the bar on Friday and Valentine's Day noon on Sunday, she encountered this crisis encounter Friday night and must have spent the next 36 hours deciding her only viable option for security and potential marriage in the near future. Now, she is throwing the other victim (ME) "under the bus," and identifying with her privacy-invader by scapegoating ME and banning me from visiting her at the bar and from future communication. Undoubtedly, for show to keep the controlling bf feeling happy & secure. If I didn't know what was going on psychologically, I'd be saying "WTF, Charlie?" This reminds me of my ex-wife's mental meltdown to get her own selfish way with a no-fault divorce that Florida law does not allow contesting. "Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind's already made up!"

I will only take the bf to court if this continues to escalate somehow -- but the illegally-gained damage is done already! As long as my former friend is not patient enough to keep her options open and date around looking for someone better suited for marriage, I'll just have to lose my entire social life which has been visiting her twice weekly at that bar. (HER choice, not mine -- WTF did I do? Nothing -- I'm just the NICE guy here that it's easy to pull this shit on!) She probably rationalizes it by saying the truth: In fact, I will save on any more wasted time and extra tip money now!

I have a new conclusion about American women thanks to all this bullshit. Older women may not look as good, but party girls don't think so well! I am just going to be an occasionally-sociable hermit!! That's better than becoming one of these mindgaming manipulators who make bad names for psychology by playing a freak to control and scapegoat the innocent people they offend illegally. At least, my house will finally get spotless and I'll have lots of money to spend elsewhere!! Too bad I'm not into Craig's List whores or St Pete strip clubs!!