Chasm of Fire

Here is a book I will be reading shortly, on Master's instruction. Irina Tweedie's Chasm of Fire.

My own life is once again being thrown into the fire.

This page on Irina Tweedie has some good information on her and her life if you're curious what the book is about. There is also a page about her on Wiki that is interesting.
I remember this book repeatedly caught my eye when I was browsing in the local library what seems like many lifetimes ago, and I always meant to read it. Well, now is the time, because this is what my own life is looking like lately.

I have reached that point again, that I almost came to last summer. It's time to jump into the Fire. I'm not sure that I will get a 3rd chance. I fucked up the 1st one, and here it is again. I better jump far and high enough this time or I'm toast.

I have Saturn transiting my natal Pluto right now, (which I knew about and had somehow forgotten, or I think suppressed the knowledge of). It comes back for a 3rd swipe at me in August. Saturn is always a difficult planet for me, being an Aquarian. It's my ruling planet, despite -or alongside- what some astrologers would say about Uranus, so it has about triple the whammy for me than for some. (I prefer some of the earlier attributions than the modern ones. Sits better with my own personal karmas.) Saturn transits have played a very prominent role in my life over the years. Always very dramatic and shattering.

Here's what I found online about it.

Saturn compels, he forces the issue, he says, “You Must.” Pluto, “You Must Let Go. You Must Transform, Heal, Metamorphose. You must dig deep to your inner core of power and face your vulnerabilities.” It signals situations that bring up the kinds of feelings we all have, but we don’t like to face— weakness, jealousy, rage, revenge. Whatever has been repressed. These feelings have to emerge; you don’t have a choice about that. But you do get to choose how you are going to react to them, and that’s where your power lies.

(K, I'm ok, I think I'd find it easier for a while not to talk, thanks! I know you'll call if you read this, but I need to digest a few things and figure them out for myself for a few days at least.)