Tonight

Date night has been brought forward to tonight! Master texted me last night with a request to change our night together to Thursday, so I said yes, and then texted E to ask if he would be ok to change to tonight instead.

A blessing, I feel.  I would have been a nervous wreck if I'd have had to wait another few days. I texted E last night and said that I was really nervous about it. He said he was too, it was really sweet. We were up late texting. Nothing dirty, we haven't got there yet, but just ordinary 'safe' conversation about tv shows, and stuff like that.  Of all the people I can think of that I know that would be a safe person (emotionally and physically) to go out on a first post-divorce date with, he's it. Despite my fears that Master would possibly tear me a new one, I can't help but feel there's much Grace in this.

I should probably handle the chaos of my house-move, but a date seems like a better option than packing boxes. I have a week to be done with the old place, it will get handled somehow.

I am due any moment to start my period, so I DO hope that holds off for another day. What's up with that??? Full moon, I guess.
Maybe that's a good thing. I was thinking about waiting, not fucking E on our first date. I have never done that before. I have always either been too desperate for affection, or lacking the self-confidence that whoever I am dating will perhaps like me for more than sex, or my inability to say no to 'dad', and my own sex drive, all these things have meant that I have never waited.  It's not a moral thing, nothing to do with being 'good', just something I have never really done and I'd like to. Like I said yesterday, the anticipation is one of the best parts.  I have been in a pretty much constant state of having wet panties this last few days.  I am enjoying that!!! 
I think I am also a little scared of disappointment. I remember the big build-up to fucking A last summer, how outrageously horny I was, and our first time wasn't that hot, there were problems. He was huge, the 2nd biggest cock I can remember. (believe me, number 1 would really take some beating, pardon the pun). He was uncomfortable in the tight condom, yes, even the Magnums were too small, and we had smoked a little pot together, and I don't just get 'cotton mouth', if you know what I mean...  I didn't think to have any lube handy. I had never needed it with Husband! 

E's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. It's an interesting idea for a birthday gift. ;-)  IF I can find that much self-control.