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I had an evening with Master recently, and I was so bent out of shape, so not able to receive what he was saying, and so much stuck in ego-land.  He was reminding me that I wasn't that bound energy, that sense of pain and sadness, and that I was something Greater.

Well, I awoke the next morning somehow prior to all the 'stuff' and became aware of the vast ocean of Love that exists before any of that even happens. It was somehow so utterly impersonal, and yet totally nothing but the deepest love for everything.  No Ex, no E, no complication. I sensed the people in my life as almost like static blocks of energy, unable to move, unable to be free, bound in attention and mind to all their stuff, like I normally am too. Unable to respond to the Love or even feel it.  All that was free-floating in an ocean of love that was arising anyway, in me, around me, as me.  I wrote Master the next day and told him, and last night, we sat for Darshan, and afterwards I got to share with the group what I had felt, and that I was free of all the need and sadness and rage.

Honestly, it felt really good to be able to say that to them all, after all the shit lately. I don't care. It's not important, you don't matter. They don't, they can't touch this, and that's the paradox of it. Total love, but not 'for' any one person, love just 'is', regardless.

Master said he feels that, lives it constantly, but can bring that down to become a personal love of each person, but for now, it was fine that I see and feel and enjoy it as non-personal, and just swim in the Ocean.

The other paradox is that I can still feel all the hate and anger and sadness and shame, etc. But it just doesn't matter, because that love is also there, before any of that stuff happens in me.  It's my core. It's who I am.
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