Sadness

God damn it.. I am feeling SO sad today.  Like I want some Magical Something to Happen and rock my world, and I know it won't.  And I'm not even sure what it would be, if it did happen.. A lottery win? E proposing? (OK, gimme a break, will ya, its Valentine's Day! I won't be feeling that tomorrow), Ex suddenly coming to his senses and humbly apologizing, and giving me half of everything, so I can afford to buy my own place? Hearing Bitch has kicked his ass to the curb and moved back down south again to be with her old lover? (Oh, that would make me happy). By the way, Bitch is also sleeping with Master. WTF? I wonder how Ex feels about that...  Ha.  Weird. I hope it's killing him. Stupid fucker.

Nah, not even that stuff would really cheer me up today, it just feels like Existential Sadness. Lots of heaviness in my chest, hard to breathe with the weight of it all. An unfillable hole in me.  PMS, most likely. 

At least I have a date tonight with E, we're going for Indian food at my favourite place. His lovin' will go a long way to helping. We had a lovely weekend, fantastic sex, and lots of snuggle time, and a nice walk on the beach.