Scene of the crime

So I went past the scene of the crime last night. The place where I was when A and I first got talking at a party in 2009, and the sparks started flying. I was on my way somewhere else, on foot, and I stumbled on it. It sort of took me by surprise, it's not in my usual neighbourhood.

I stood, for a moment, put myself back there, with A and Ex, and blessed it all.  Forgave myself, let my past self know that my present self would live, if my life fell apart on me. I told myself it would, and that it was ok anyway, I was still here.
I have never really forgiven myself for that. Always felt this crushing guilt about it, not just what I did to Ex, but what I did to myself.

Funnily enough, my last Scientology course (I finished it Monday), has a section where you write up your 'overts' and your 'withholds', all the ways you have fucked others over, with details including place and time.  I wrote that one up. Sort of confession-style. (A bit like AA, only hopefully, I don't have to go make amends in person!)

And then the very next evening, there I am, back at the scene of the crime...
*****

S texted me this morning, Bitch is up against it. Master is tearing her a new one at the moment, about her relationship with Ex. Ha..  I was moved to sneak a look at her chart last night, 'coincidentally', and she has Uranus opposite her Mars at the moment, she's going to be one angry Bitch for a while, and life isn't going to be going her way any time soon. I am watching with interest...  I admit.  I would love to see that all go tits-up for her...