Caring

Had a great weekend with E.  I swear, I am falling more in love with him, it's really cool, I love what's happening. I am starting to really care about him, big time. I'm not just in this relationship for what I can get out of it. It feels very different than what I had with Ex.  I realize that now. Finally.
E is a tremendous gift. 
I realize what arrogance I went into this relationship with, thinking I was the one doing him the favour. He had been single for so long, I had thought somewhere in the back of my mind, that I was doing him the favour, he got the sex, the attention, the company, etc.  
I am the lucky one..  I am the one that needed the TLC, to recover from the emotional pit I had fallen into.  He has been the one taking care of me this last while while I healed from the divorce. And he has done a good job.
And now I'm healing, I am starting to really think about caring for him, about him, not being taken care of. I am sort of ashamed about how selfish and short sighted I can be!
Anyway, we had a magical weekend. Sunday, we spent the whole morning having amazing sex. He came 4 times! 3 of those within about half an hour.  I was on top, and he came twice, then, asked me for a hand job after that! :-)  Then we had sex again 2 hours later!  I managed 2 orgasms myself.  I am loving being on top of him, I  never used to really get much out of that, but with E, it's fantastic, he's totally built for it..  I am a happy bunny.. 
And managing to leave Ex behind, finally.  I am still sad, hurt, angry, all of that, but it's just becoming less and less a part of my day. 
Last night I threw some things out, of the stuff Ex left me with from the house. Gradually, box by box, it is diminishing..  That always is hard though, going through things, thinking about where they were in the house.

I was so scared to get into this relationship with E, for all kinds of reasons, not least, I think, was thinking about what people would say, how they would judge me, it being so soon after Ex and I had finally split up for good. Rebound relationships, and all that. Giving myself space, etc. 
Really, now, I am just grateful that I have E in my life, he is turning out to be somebody really special.  He makes me want to be a better person, do things differently, learn from my mistakes and not repeat them.