Latest Movie :


I just got an email from an old coworker, we've been joking about being left behind by the Rapture last month. He wrote something about being relieved to find I was not a stupid Christian. (I believe there are some that aren't stupid, and so does he, to clarify).
 I wrote him this as a response. 

I was spared a life of Christianity when I was 14, by a vision of Jesus. Ironically. I was riding my bike out by myself one afternoon, and had a St Paul Moment. Reality sort of split in half in the middle of the road in front of me, and Jesus appeared.  BUT what I really, clearly saw and felt, that never left me, was the knowledge that Jesus was one part of a greater reality, and only ONE PART of that greater reality. It was such a blessing. I became a devout Christian for most of my teens, (while fucking and drinking and pot smoking my way through life), but always with a more mystical than literal take on it, and found myself drawn to Buddhism when I met my college tutor Steve at 19 who was a real formative influence on me, and a Buddhist. Up til then I’d had no exposure to it, and it became very obvious that that Buddhist “Clear Light” that Steve spoke about, was the thing that Jesus had been a part of in my vision.
Buddhists and Hindus have a much greater expansive and inclusive sense of it all and don’t limit it all to just one Master. And that was my direct vision at 14. There is more than one, and only One. ‘God’ is the Ultimate Paradox. 

I hate to call what I saw ‘God’ as ‘God’ is a sucky word for it.  Somehow I have managed not to put any one religion on a pedestal since then, though I’ve been drawn periodically to them all at some point or another as part of my learning experience, and have found many teachings that all have a part of the puzzle. Including Atheism. And that sounds odd.
I guess I’m A-Gnostic in a sense.  Somewhere between an Agnostic and a Gnostic. ‘Gnosis’ meaning (apparently Divinely) given knowledge.  But that depends on what and why you call it ‘Divine’.  Possibly I’m more of a Solipsist?  
Basically, I feel that anything that you project as ‘God’ outside yourself is false, but it’s also all of the above. It’s all true and none of it is. Because God is also not ego, and it's the ego that thinks it's God.  I think more so that none of it is true.  Maya, the Illusion.  

Share this article :

Post a Comment

Support : Copyright © 2011. horney paper storms - All Rights Reserved
Proudly powered by Blogger